What's really going on???

for those who haven't been following me since strange-n-beautiful days, u'd know i dun question my blogs posts with questions.

but wat's been really going on?
nothing really..
but lots under the surface..


really...

when im here... with the keyboard, i no longer like to say wat i tot about.
i could very much bitch bout the china bus driver i encountered 2 days ago on 190 to town..

but i lost the gist for that. (tt was gonna be another story actually... with actual Chinese words! ;D)

im not happy im not happy.. im not happy...
i mourn n cry my heart out to my best fren in london. once he pick up the phone, when he jus came back....
i sorta feel bad for him tt he gotta picture my tear stained face in contrast to that "woman in orgasm" face tt he's so accustomed to whenever he comes back to sg...

i complain to my bf n sort of cry to him bout wat im unhappy about...

i puke n complain to my poor dustbin bout my stomach disorders.... (after home concoctions of choya, vodka n green tea. Wat??!? no go zouk then drink wat?!?!?)

but it doesn't empty out my angst.

The fact is, im tired of my life , My job. the dead end thing tt not happening with wats supposed to be happening in my age group. n the fact is tt... i have chose it.

i puked in the waste bin feeling sorry for myself tt im not one of my girlfriends preparing for a house tt need renovation, for a wedding tt needs preparation.

but i know tt's not wat i need in the first place.

a long time ago, i pictured my life to be
- i get married at 26, bloody happy at 28, have kid before 30 (so as to reduce risk of watever reproductive cancers) n live happily ever after


OR at least
- i get married before 30. have kid before 35, have own business or help out in hub's one before 40 n live happily after as a semi tai tai. with a couple of Christian Louboutins or 2 .

- the above, or at least if hubs no make it... at least have the means to go for laser n watever loser aesthetics procedure so tt i look like a semi tai tai.


all else fails...


i rather jus make my own money n look like a SINGLE TAI TAI.
like wTF.

anyway at the mo' i hate all semi tai tais n wat my good guy frenz are making the women of their moment to be out to......

cos watever pple think i m. "high maintenance" or watever, i never made my man pay for my extra extravagances.
i work for wat i have. n i never sponged. neither have any of them made me feel tt i deserved them on their account ( loserish la) or have i ever been offered.

so really. im not high maintenance.
nor have any men offered to provide for me. IN ANY BLOODY WAY.

it would be nice.
but it never blooody happened.

so really. shoot me. for bitching bout women who have men paying for their every way.
cos all the way since i was 17, i work for every dollar tt provided for wat i am now.