While u were sleeping...

While you were sleeping...
I was in my own bed
Thinking of all that was said.

Having half expectations,
Day dreaming happy endings in my own silly head.

I asked questions.
N got no answers.
But what do i expect.
Especially when u r busy with essay...

I just presumed what the sane would do.
That i'm not very worth it.
Not in yr eyes nor in yr heart it seems.

I wonder..... do u really love me.

While you were sleeping...
I imagined what our lives together would be.
The laughter n joy n eternal flirting.
The never ending happy story, that i always wished.

I lay there not moving, neither intoxicated nor fed.
Just paralysed,
By the fact that
Maybe you do not love me.
Not in that way. Anyway.

While you were sleeping...
I wonder why i haven't found Mr Right in you.
Or why i can't be Ms Right for you.
Why u can't make certain changes for me...
When I have taken such a long route to become who i am for you....

I know I'm not the one when there is always reasons n excuses.
Trust me, i was the Queen of Reasons n Excuses.
So break my heart.
Even though there is no way to buffer the shattering of glass.

While you were sleeping..
i readied myself for the worst to happen.
N for my heart to die.
Or is it for yours?

I readied myself so that i will not hate you,
But hate myself instead.
Hate my own fairy tale expectations.

I mean, Daddy brought me up like a princess.
Is it wrong to think like one?
One of self worth n self love.
But what the hell.
He didnt teach me to self hate.

I'm just a bootcamp for men.
Women should just queue up after I'm done with them.

While you were sleeping...
I stopped loving you somewhat.
I hate that you can go on with life knowing that i'm upset.
That i cry n u just have the nerve to ask me 'why'.
The man who loves me truly will not subject me to that.