Private Space.

4 years back when i started strange-n-beautiful.blogspot i took it as my private space to rant...
That eventually got me into trouble with work.

My supervisor jus said... "well, jus come out for coffee with yr frenz n rant in real time instead. when u put certain things in black n white, it can get u into trouble sometimes...."

Good advice. Taken, though grudgingly...

I guess i kinda expect the ppl i confide in to keep things to themselves as well anyway.
But i overlooked the fact tt words actually get round.

i might not take criticism the right way. initially.
Or give u a very correct attitude when let in on my worst flaws...

But i reflect upon them when i get a quiet moment or when i feel off side.

A very good friend told me tt its human nature to run to someone to talk to when clueless on wat to do, but y do i feel so weird right now?
He tells me tt its normal for ppl to filter information, so as not to upset others.
Tt when two countries r at war, they dun let each other in on their private ammo.
But i have no private ammo.
Everything in my head is told to YOU. n only you.
So how could you.

I suddenly feel like i have no such private space anymore.
Or a person i can trust to know me, listen to me, understand me, feel me n be honest w me.
Not one.

You probably feel that i'm unreasonable, crazy, demanding n just impossible.
I feel that too.
Then just tell me that.
Dun go telling others without telling me u have told them. Or even giving me a chance to tell my side of the story.

Despite the good diplomatic advice given to me, i just feel.....................
WEIRD.

like pple going behind my back.

I feel so stupid now letting u into every single thought, opinion, view in my head, bout you, me, us, everything.

N i'm not hearing yours from you. Yet u let other pple hear it exclusively.

I'm hurt.