Rise & Fall

Sometimes i manage to cheat my mind into thinking all is good...

n then outta the blue,

That empty lonely sensation in the tummy strikes.

Esp during moments when i'm on my own... most of the time on public transport.

And then i stop for a cigarette.

And i start to realise tt the cig has stopped giving me the kinda comfort tt used to satiate my neediness.

And i start to wonder what would make it good.

Well overall im in better shape than i was 2 weeks ago. ;]

Most of the times my puppy makes me happy. The only thing tt puts a grin on my face n make me chuckle out loud.

Sometimes, i do wonder if having him in my life brings about much more restrictions...

Then... I look at him looking at me with those loving eyes, i feel guilty ever having those thoughts!

It's already August of 2010.

Somehow i keep feeling like im in February. Why?

Not like i had a very enjoyable birthday rite? duh.

I'm feeling kinda weird today.

Took the initiative to clip down this silky's coat cos i was damn annoyed tt shit sticks to his butt hair all the time n stinks up my area.

And also cos im damn annoyed tt it's a boarding dog n well outta my scope of job to bother to even bathe him unless the customer is paying.

Somehow, the shop pple say tt it belongs to a VIP customer n they aren't gonna bill him.

Fuck-a-na-den.

Then dun ask me to bathe him!

Our agreement was only puppies for free n grooming.

But i swallowed n did as told. After all, i was getting $5 ph rite?

Guess my indignance got a hold of me n i kinda did it to save myself the trouble. 

Well, i would like to blame it on lack of communication as well.

Keep asking me to bathe the smelly dog for free n never tell me when going back.

You think bathing very easy ah!!!??!? 

The blowdrying process very tiring one lei!

N the knn Auntie keep asking me to bathe her fucking puppies on weekends so they look nice n fluffy "so can sell" 

Knn i trying to save my energy for my real customers whom i get money from can!?!??!?!

So anyway back to story. turned out the VIP owner came to collect his dog today.

N turned out the top coat which i clipped off slightly was pain stakingly grown.

Wahahhaha!

Too bad. 

But i did show him how his dog's ass skin was getting sore from all tt shit stuck tt.

Moral of the story.

Want ppl to take good care of yr dog. U pay.

Pay. Pay me $25 a day n i will make sure when yr dog shits i will comb off all the mush. 

Pay me n i will make sure i blowdry its feet everytime it gets damp from stupidly peeing on itself.

Pay me n i will comb off all that shitty food residues ard its mouth. OMG wat a dumbass dog. *rolls eyes*

Else dun keep yr dog's hair so high maintanence. Keep at home where yr poor maid will slave over it every second of the day.

So the guilt comes n goes n my confidence is kinda shaken.

my heart was beating when i realised tt if i had made a mistake, this mistake is irreversible.

And i had no supervisor over me.. or a teacher to make my mistake seem less serious.

And then i received an SMS from a potential customer asking if i would like to groom his rabbit (a fuzzy lop or whatever lar) this weekend.

And i remembered they say rabbit scared will die after bath one.

And im hesitating now cos i scared i make pple rabbit die.

Then how?

Should i or should i not?

And then i cheat my mind into thinking tt everything is fine again..

By telling myself tt "aiyah if he confirms the appointment then come n worry bout it la."

At most if i see his rabbit damn scared one i suggest a powder bath instead. 

N im writing all these worrisome thoughts of mine here to bore u cos i have no one to talk to these days except my dog.

N my stupid Pig fren disowned me cos apparently he fell in love with me again.

I need his counsel n straightforward ways of putting things across to validate my tears n fears.

I toyed with the idea of calling the ex. Cos who else would know me better rite?

Then decided against it.

Cos who knows, he might jus find me a nuisance right?

Sigh. i know. I'm weak like tt.

N oh. He said he ordered 3 cartons of canned food for Baby J. That's 72 cans n enough to last him a year since he consumes 1 can every 5-6 days for tt particular brand.

I can't decide what to think bout this action of his though.

Nice? 

Hmmm, maybe he still cares for the dog then.

*shrugs* i really dunno. 

I wish he still cares bout me though. ;[

ah well. 

Back to cheating the mind again tt everything's fine.

It's late n im finally gonna get some work done after moping around.