Days in summer~

"He Likes me, i know he likes me. Of course i flatter him dreadfully. I find a strange pleasure in saying things to him that i know i shall be sorry for having said. As a rule, he is charming to me, and we sit in the studio and talk of a thousand things. Now and then, however, he is painfully thoughtless, and seems to take a real delight in giving me pain. Then i feel, that i have given away my whole soul to some one who treats it as if it were a flower to put in his coat, a bit of decoration to charm his vanity, an ornament for a summer's day."

"Days in summer, are apt to linger. Perhaps you will tire sooner than he will. It is a sad thing to think of, but there is no doubt that Genius lasts longer than Beauty. That accounts for the fact that we all take such pains to over-educate ourselves. In the wild struggle for existence, we want to have something that endures, and so we fill our minds with rubbish and facts, in the silly hope of keeping our place. The thoroughly well informed man - that is the modern ideal. And the mind of the thoroughly well-informed man is a dreadful thing. It is like a bric-a-brac shop, all monsters and dust, with everything priced above its proper value. I think u will tire first, all the same. Some day you will look at your friend, and he will seem to you to be a little out of drawing, or you won't like his tone of colour, or something. You will bitterly reproach him in yr own heart, and seriously think that he has behaved very badly to you. The next time he calls, you will be perfectly cold and indifferent. It will be a great pity, for it will alter you. What you have told me is quite a romance, a romance of art one might call it, and the worst of having a romance of any kind is that it leaves one so unromantic."

- The Picture of Dorian Gray-  Oscar Wilde.

Spoke to my heart.

I understand what im doing now....

Guess only the fast forward of time will truly be the end of my summer?

Terms of Endearment...

Tonight, i got to think about terms of endearment...

For yr other half tt is...

I remember when i first started dating..

i was 15 going to 16..

Some boy from tuition group...

He used to call me dAh-Ling....

Cos my cheena name ends with a Ling sounding word...

N my 老师 used to call me Ah-Ling...

So tt stuck.

I really can't remember wat i called him.

Though the entire tuition grp n my gal pals always refer to him as Ah Hock.

Tt was super funny. ;D

Tt ended when he chided me for going to an eyebrow grooming session when he was broke. he couldn't see the reason why i go n spend 10 bucks to pluck eyebrows when he couldnt even afford a Mcdee's value meal for the two of us on dates after school...

When i was younger.. I was a ruthless eenie mienie lover..

I walked away from rships n never looked back.

I had them all on their knees, begging me to love them back. To return their affections for me.

When I was in JC, I dated a dude who was a retainee.

Someone who had to repeat Year 1 all over again.

N i tot tt was cool. u know. like Different.

So i walked into class w my careless attitude n floppy short hair which covered half my face, n ruthlessly flirted by eye contact.

Perhaps my eyes could speak better than I could.

Cos in truth i'm not very much a talker. Always very quiet ard pple im new to.

The air i carried was haughty yet in an understated way.

Always getting chided by my teacher for my horrible unladylike sitting postures in class.

I think the boys tot i was someone hard to conquer. though really, i din know i was portraying myself as tt.

Bingo! the shy guy took the bait.

N he called me Dear.

I can't remember wat i called him... once again.

But it ended after 15 months when i found out he was a self destructive person who used emotional blackmail on me in the form of hurting himself. like banging his head on the wall in the ladies' gym toilet when i refused to budge from my tantrum...

The break up was probably bad for him. Cos i would walk past him in the school canteen n not even acknowledge him once i said i wanted to end things

Mind you. Then, we only had pagers. Mobile phones were considered luxury n SMS was not even a common communication mode. 

Fuck, sometimes i wish we dun have such convenient ways of communicating as well.

Then angry emo drunk messages cannot b sent on crazy impulse n put the ball in the other person's court when he / she doesn't reply. u know wat i mean...

..................

Then, i met this pink haired guy while part timing at the hottest club in town.

I was 19, awaiting my A level results...

He was the sweetest guy i had ever known.

Taking the cab from the east to the west where i lived to pick me up for dates.

Never ever ever failing to send me home from his place to mine n then detour the cab back again. 

No matter wat time of the day n watever midnight charge nonsense.

He courted me slowly n surely. 

Bringing me home from Zouk in the middle of my work shift when i was burning at 38 d C n puking behind the club. Flowers. Soup left outside my door the next day. The best kisser i ever had then...

Brought me to my first R(A) movie before i turned 21. To my first holiday to BKK n HKG without my parents. n took so good care of me tt now when i look back, i realised he's much more mature than his 21 yrs then.

I called him Darling.

He said he preferred the term Baby.

I went 'eeks!! But i dun wanna b a baby! I wanna b a darling!"

Yeah *rolls eyes at the then me*

I think if i knew my 19 yr old self i will like slap her/me lor. so annoying!! eeeyurr!

He gave in to me... so many times..

Even when i argued tt if i dun tell him where or who i'd been with, it's not lying if i din do anything wrong.

He was the one who instilled in me the policy of honesty i fight for so badly in every rship now. Ironically.

Cos somehow over time, i came to experience having someone not account to me n got deeply hurt.

I look back now n wonder why was i so stupid?!? So immature

I was intimidated by his cyber dressing frenz though. The girls were aspiring models n they hung out with the coolest in town.

I was so young. Havent even started partying. Had terrible dress sense. Cos mummy dun bring me out shopping n i bought like 1 item every 6 months. n forever not enough clothes to wear one. 

I felt horribly inferior n he made me over.

Gave me a whole new wardrobe of choices. Stuff from Blackjack, cult brands...

Which i argued tt i dun like. i preferred mundane stuff. I haven't discovered my personal style yet then u see.

I seriously think i drove him hell crazy w my nonsensical childish stubborness...

N then i had to go n cheat on him..... w the mega ex.

N he forgave me.

n he took a short break from me. but saw me w the mega ex. n completely signed me off.

Though i din see wat the big deal was .... 

u see... i did say i was an eenie mienie lover back then. But hell lot ignorant n insensitive.

..............................

And then life started with the mega ex.

Who i was seeing anyway b4 pink hair dude. But unofficially. But he was my best fren. n soulmate.

So many nights we spent at the carpark downstairs just looking into the stars n having deep conversations about crazy things.

He was the one who came between me n pink hair.

Cos i was so torn between one who was a super sweet lover/caregiver/provider/teacher n the other who can simply complete my sentences n make me laugh all the freakin time...

Pink hair said he couldn't express himself to me cos he not as English ed as me. i was like ???

We dated for a good 3-4 mths unofficially. Cos he was gonna go back to London for college after serving national duty anyway.

We were stuck hip to hip. Every weekend hand in hand seen at Zouk.

But always telling ppl who asked if we r together..."no ah we r not together.." like duhhh....

We dated another 6 mths or so before we started having pet names for each other.

I dun remember how it started n how the hell it evolved to wat it is still today, even after separating.

But his mom call him B , short for Baby cos he's the youngest.

N i said 'eeeeek' im not gonna call him wat his mom call him!

We wrote alot to each other on postcards n love letters though we saw each other every day.

Thinking hard, it was from the mushy words tt our pet names came about.

He always said "Y r u so small n cute one!??!" (erm.. i wasn't ever tabby like now last time fyi.. -_-)

N once i wrote 'little beetle' on one of our love notes.....

which shortened to "beetle".....

N then one day i said softly, 'actually i always want u to call me tt."

N he went 'really?!?!" wide eyed n then gathered me in his bear like hug w a smile.

N the "Bee" moniker started between us. with little drawings of bees n flowers n crap la.

it had variations as the rest of the 4 yrs went by.

Boo, Boot, finally settling w Beet.

Which we still use now.

*shrugs* 

it's strange huh? Using a term of endearment with someone u've already broken up with???

We could nvr figure tt out ourselves either. hmm

.............................................

The next 2 cheating, lying losers i dated for 14 months n then 5 months were jus plain "Baby"

The relationships never had depth enough to have any kind of history or special stories...

Jus pain n hurt n lotsa self destruction on my side.

I seriously think it was my karma for being a eenie mienie lover when i was young n for cheating on pink hair guy.

N then also on the mega ex.

The tables turned on me definitely, as my luck in love ran out after the mega ex.

Sigh.

I'm writing this post becos im feeling fucked up bout running out of my favourite terms of endearments.

After having used variations of 'dear', 'darling' n so many from the root word 'baby'; what else is left for me to use huh?

Every relationship hence lover shld have a special place. At least to me.... n i wanna accord them each a special name mah.

Sigh.

Everytime i swore to myself to reserve the B word for someone i knew who i will spend the rest of my life with, everytime it fucks up.

So here I m...

Having called Beng 'bb' for at least 20 mths in our 22mths rship, i really m running out of options here m i not? ;(

N i dun ever wanna go back to dear' or darling' ever again cos it's just so..... eeek.

Like those couples who met thru SDU or something...

So there...

i know many couples call theirpartners 'bb'as well but i had one n only 'bb' in my life mah.

N if any of u can think of any more/other variation of the word "baby' for a lover...

Can share not???

Cos i sure as hell m not gonna call my hubby 'eh'. 

It has to b something catchy mah. Which can use angrily in quarrels, or passionately in bed one. 

That means no over gooey stuff like 'sugar' or 'babyboooo' or crap like tt.

Jus one or two syllables will b perfect! Easy to call when excited. ;D

*chuckles*

k night night!

Yes i know im crazy n long winded! 

Shut up n stop laughing at me! humph*

Adventures of Groomer Girl n Super Dog~~

Hey ya.

Yeah, it's Day #15 me n my adopted Golden Retriever r stuck hip to hip... so to speak.

Seriously, who would ever think tt having a puppy, settling it into a new home is so time n energy consuming??

Well. Maybe u won't think so.

But i think discipline n routine/patterns r very important to ensuring tt the dog settles in quickly, esp for toilet training!

but well, i is a control freak. 

Need for things to be in correct place ASAP one... ;p

Anyway, my original daydream plan was to set up another blog titled Adventures of Groomer Girl n Super Dog.... 

;D

n narrate the days of our lives together, with both my voice n Baby Jayden's...

But Neh neh la...

I is so busy bringing him to walkies mornings n evenings...

n watching him making sure 

1) he doesn't drink the chlorine-added water inside the water feature at my main door

2) he doesn't go near the water n fruits at the altar cos tt would definitely cause my parents to dump him right outside the house door.. -_-

3) he doesn't enter our toilets n drink from toilet bowls or the laundry water.

4) he doesn't run away whenever the grandfather moves in n outta the main door to use the loo, have his meals etc. which is freakin annoying cos it's often enough to spoil the lock on my gate >.<

5) he doesn't bark. at members of the family coming or leaving home... at sudden noises coming from outside the house.

6) he doesn't try to get onto beds, sofas, pple with food... etc. I kicked him off my bed like thrice before he got the idea n stopped being a rascal testing my boundaries.....

7) Clean off the pee tt splashes off onto the wall OR little bit tt goes outta the pee pan AND wipe off his paws after he peed in pee pan cos he dunno how to 'siam' n he trots off around the house with pee covered paws.. -_-"

N he's a BIG dog so he pees ALOT.  That's also why.

8)he doesn't pee outside the pee pan. which now is only there til a couple more months cos he's more or less conditioned to pee on grass now.

Which means more sweat for me cos this bugger drinks water like a fish n he can pee up to 4Xs more in the afternoon between the 1-6pm period between his first n last meal/walkie of the day.  

 FML i know.

...........................................

So anyway, Jayden is a really good boy n he knows to leave the altar n fountain alone since Day1 it seems.

The barking at ppl coming in n outta the house has stopped completely by Day 4 when he has grew more comfy in the house.

N with a click of my tongue n stern look from me, he knows what he can or cannot do.

Now there r no more peeing incidents at home cos i bring him to school w me everyday.

But i haven't got the heart to leave him at home for more than 5 hrs cos puppy being puppy, these newly formed good habits can always be forgotten quickly enough if there is no one to check him all the time.

Wat's more, everybody else at home do not understand doggie speak good enough to discipline n check him. N he bullies everyone else who doesn't seem alpha male enough for him... like ZZzzzz~

Like my 老师 always says "狗没有错的只有人有错。"

It's really all bout educating the owner in order to have a disciplined dog.

................

Ever wondered why in the Europe n other countries, dogs r readily allowed into LV boutiques, trains, cafes etc while in SG it's like so restricting for pet owners???

Because of irresponsible n selfish pet owners.

How many of u reading this now (with a dog of cos) actually walk yr dog w a freakin' poo bag in hand n ALWAYS picks up yr doggie's poo???!!!???

How many?? or rather HOW FEW????

Cheebye, every morning n evening my dog poops twice n i pick twice everyday n i think im the only modern dog owner who actually does tt cos my area is FULL of fresh 'landmines' daily.

N how many of u check yr stupid retarded male dogs from marking with their pee ENDLESSLY n UNNECCESARILY like every nook n corner???

I say 'unnecessary' cos it's a VERY bad habit n many dogs who have this habit r not only simply annoying but when they run out of pee to spray they still run to corners n lift their leg up 'action action' over n over again.

I jus want to say tt its unsightly n FREAKING ANNOYING.

Reminded me of an ex's retarded CKC who loved to do tt. n when we went to a now defunct pet cafe, the retarded dog jus ran around disrupting ALL the other patrons n i was too embarrassed to even finish my meal there.

What can i say?

Like Owner like Dog.

Retarded Owner Retarded Dog. 

*miffed*

(FYI, my GRs , namely Whiskey n Jayden hardly have the habit to lift their legs to squirt their pee. Jayden recently started but i made sure I smack his leg down so he doesn't do it anymore. See!! it's correctable one!!!!)

N becos most Singaporeans r retarded dog owners who r not foolishly but just OUTRIGHTLY STUPID AND IGNORANT,  dog owners r hated by many non dog owners n therefore the many restrictions for us minority responsible dog owners.

I look at the ang mos n i wonder why do they know so much more bout doggie discipline n training n breed info n all tt. 

n i grit my teeth whenever the aunties n uncles ignorantly shun my 'big dog' simply cos they jus think big dogs r dangerous.

WHICH IS WRONG!!! OH SO WRONG!!!

Small breeds like JRT, Silky, SZ etc have so much more tendencies to growl, bare their teeth n snap than Big breeds like GRs, Huskies, Collies etc!!!

WHY SO MANY STUPID PEOPLE OUT THERE ONE!!!!!! *SCREAMS N PULLS HAIR*

15 days with my dog n im feeling passionate bout starting an activist movement to lobby for more public places to be pet friendly. like seriously.

But more thought put into it made me realise tt it involves more than changing rules but more like changing pple's mentality, esp the "aunties n uncles" approach to pet care n being considerate to non pet owners etc.

N when it comes to a mish mash society of different levels like ours, the task might just b close to impossible. ;(

So please, if any of u out there who r considering getting dogs, pls do yr research first n understand the implications of being a good owner.

I recommend watching shows like The Dog Whisperer by Cesar Milan (my fave!) for ways to curb n deal with behavioural esp aggression problems, n how to give yr pet love the right way by being a confident pack leader. OR pls do read books on how to feed, care, train, control a dog BEFORE getting one cos habits form quickly esp for a pup.

With more responsible n smart pet ownership, i wish for the government in SG to be more lax when it comes to restrictions for us!!!

Taking time out to understand...

... more Shakepeare. ;D

Really regret not taking up Literature in my schooling days now.

Oh wellll...

I almost cried just now reading this.

I dunno why...

Romeo: 

"With love's light wings did i o'perch these walls,

For stony limits cannot hold love out,

And what love can do, that dares love attempt;

Therefore thy kinsmen are no stop to me"

Though i only read this the first time ever,

I do think i would very much be Shakespeare's romantic soulmate. lol~

Love does conquer all....

One won't feel pain, hunger, weariness when motivated by love.

Well.. at least tt's me.

So please dun try to change my dreamy romantic ideals to something so realistic n practical n so not me anymore. 

I truly do not appreciate that.

This is me.

N i seriously think this is the reason why i'm lovable!! hohohoho~ *thick skinned*

"Love goes toward love, as schoolboys from their books,

But love from love, toward school with heavy looks."

..........................................................................

Gonna be a busy day morrow.

Picking up a friend's dog to groom n i hope my Google maps GPS function work properly morrow to get me to location man.

Then gotta send back dog n then gather at Temasek Poly for this pet course.

Also will be parting with $450 worth of course fees.

The course fees r seriously draining me dry.. seriously WTF lor.

Course for next 4 days til 10pm at night... i confirm @_@"

n zzzzzz in class.... 

N What the hell i doing here posing w my new found Shakespeare!??!

Stupid!

I shld be writing tt letter to Pure Yoga requesting for my 5 classes back!!!

ARGH.

I dun wanna bother but this is too much 漏财 in a month i can't take it readdddyyyyyy!

*pulls hair* ;p

Who's more in pain?

So i've been reading Shakespeare on my iPhone these days while on the train n bus stops...

Starting with R + J of cos. 

Might move to Macbeth next...

I always felt like the Bard portrayed Romeo as the more oft depressed of the pair of lovebirds....

He's like this super emo, n everything R says is as if he'd always a knife in his heart...

Juliet seemed to always just bask in his love.... n just content n happy in loving him...

Well wat would i know? 

I nvr studied Literature in depth n i'm only at Act 1.

Well.... I loved what Romeo said here...

"Why, such is love's transgression.

Griefs of mine own lie heavy in my breast,

Which thou wilt propagate to have it press'd

With more of thine. This love that thou hast shown

Doth add more grief to too much of mine own.

Love is a smoke made with the fume of sighs,

Being purg'd, a fire sparkling in lovers' eyes,

Being vex'd, a sea nourish'd with loving tears,

What is it else? a madness most discreet,

A choking gall, and a preserving sweet."

There, the definition of Love.

Never been more aptly put into words....

In my story, this Juliet is more in pain than Romeo.

Vexed n filling a sea out with loving tears.

Nothing else but a madness in my head i can't seem to tell anyone , n which no one else wants to hear of anymore.

And definitely a bitterness which chokes me every now n then, but with such sweet memories.

Resignation FAQs

So I serving my notice now right.
The other girls are completely envious n some awesomely jealous.
Others, well, they just try to make me feel bad that i quit.
Which also means they r, jealous.

These r some questions I kinda grew tired of answering...
Starting with the most often asked.

Question #1: So what r u gonna do after?
A: Slack around first lor. Finish my doggie grooming course. i believe in 船到桥头 自然直。
(which literally means, Whatever will be will be.)

N i stop saying more when they give me the skeptical look.
So sometimes i dun even bother to go on bout my doggie grooming thing.
Well alot of them i hardly know, so i cannot be bothered to explain myself.
I'm 28 going on to 29 very soon.
It's my last chance to make mistakes before i turn 30.
Make seemingly crazy decisions n live the bohemian life i always sort after.

I might take a different course in life. I might regret
Or change my mind.
Who knows?
You know exactly wat's gonna happen in 2010?
Mommy says there's gonna be another recession cos all the countries r in bad debts.
But nobody's told me if 2012 is really gonna happen or not in the first place!?!
So why not now? ;D

Question #2: SO u have found another job?
A: No. (in an indignant tone of voice)

Question #3 Then wat u gonna do!?!??!
A: (controls rolling eyes) Repeat answer in Q#1

Question #4: Where u gonna be??
A: Please see answer to Q#1.
In SG la. more specifically, in the day i will be somewhere in Jalan Kayu.
In the nights I will b in my bed, or my bf's. Duh. -.-


Question#5: Why you wanna quit???

A: *Sighs for dramatic effect* Come March it will be 6 years lei.
If it's my fellow colleagues i will say, "u not sian meh? everyday do the same things, take the same shit. I can't take it anymore. i feel like i wanna punch my pax"

If it's an outsider, (most of whom who feel like cabin crews' lives damn happening n earn alot of moolah n fucking fun to fly here n fly there) I have to explain more.

I'm sick of explaining.
Basically the job is shit.
Though i dun deny that i learnt the most lessons in life the past 6 years.
I had the happiest n the saddest memories.
I was surrounded by pple i love most n pple i dun know at all.
Instead of taking for granted everyday life as it is, I learnt that time is precious.

The first 3.5 years were the best.
Thereafter, my insides r craving for something better, something new. To push myself to be a better person.
I feel it's time to make my other dreams come true.
Since I can't grow up n b a chief anymore! ;)

Question #6 : So you gonna be tai tai lar! Getting married?!
A: Unfortunately, none of the above. Not even close!

Question#7: Then $$ how?

A: Saved enough for being jobless 6 months. Taking into account that I can't live the way I used to when i working la. No more impulse buying, no more going to clubs n ordering lotsa lotsa crazy drinks. Eat at coffee shops n food courts more. But pretty much the past 1 year I have cut down on everything else luxe.

Anyway i think i save more money on my days in SG. No H&M, overseas shopping = Safe.
Therefore, please do not intro me to any online shopping, sample sales, wat branded branded things anymore please. I'm also gonna cut down on reading fashion magazines.
The flesh can only stay strong THIS much..... ;D

Question#8 : That must have been a very brave decision u made.

A: In a way, yeah. I have been battling with the idea for 1 year. I tossed n turned in bed more n more when the timing drew closer.
I look at my bank balance everyday n fret that I dun have enough for my future plans.
I buy a piece of clothing n i beat myself up mentally.
I lost my iPhone n stabbed myself when i had to get an expensive replacement.
I looking for a cheaper place where I can renew n continue my yoga practice.
I no longer wanna sign anything to my credit cards, or debit cards.
I have arguments with bf cos of my own insecurity.
I still have yet to set myself a monthly pocket money budget n how to stick to it, but i imagine my cards might just b frozen into a block of ice Confessions of a Shopaholic style. -____-"
I'm quite stressed just thinking bout the whole financial thing.

BUT! Whatever will be will be. Ommmmmmmmmm~~

Question #9 (mostly from colleagues) : So how to quit ah??

A: Write letter, address to (I will send u the template if u want w adressee address all) n go back to main center, 3rd floor blah blah blah blah blah.

Outsiders probably dun understand why this is daunting to us cos the fact is, nomad workers like us have no office lor.
We dunno who is the head HR guy or who/which department to turn to for little stuff like claims n pay issues cos we r always on the road.
N the office does so many shuffling of staff around that the names behind each department do not have a face also.

All i know is that they were gonna hold my AWS if i tendered earlier, luckily when i tendered on the 4th, it was too late for accountign to hold my 13th month bonus. ALL of $1300 ONLY.
N they will also hold my allowances n pay for the whole month of Jan til i do clearance n only pay me in end Feb. That's being optimistic too.

Question#10: Good luck to you, all the best and the feeling must be damn shiok lar!
Then *groans* i wish i also can quit like you... *sulks n pout*

A: YAR the feeling damn shiok can! I wake up everyday feeling fresh n alive with the new chapter ahead!
N yes, u can make it happen too. Just make the decision, take the time u need to make sure u made the right decision (which is when u feel nothing good bout the job anymore) n take the first step out n DO IT.

Q#10 cont'd : But I cannooootttt. I wanna buy Jimmy Choo shoes on sale! $400 bucks also i just buy! I'm not so crazy bout bags but shoes shoes!! i will buy!! ........(continue chattering bimbotic- like until i wanna slap the bugger)

A: -____- ai', just find a rich bf n marry him la

Q#10 cont'd: Yar i believe that men supposed to support us women in terms of all these one lor, if any of them offer to buy for me i sure take one lar!!

Conversation evolves into one where the useless backboneless typical blood sucking leeches of a woman talk about where to score rich old men for boyfriends, ..... and wat else? More talk on bags n shoes n bags n shoes........ Fuck my life.

Incidentally, i think most men r such suckers that they let themselves be leeched off too, rich or not. R they stupid? Or r these sorta women more smart??
For u to judge.

Of cos not all stewardesses are like that laaaarrr.......
Those like that one of cos NOT my friends. hahahaha~
But so far, i think like 50% of the girls r like that, superficial n bimbotic.
Wonder if that applies to the rest of the women population out there. hmmm.
But that's another topic for another post.

Happy Boxing Day!

Geez, what's the point of ultra long weekends when there r no plans...*grouch*

But oh well.
Staying at home saves me lotsa money!
As you all know, I is gonna quit come first week Jan n will serve notice til Feb.
Thereafter, I will be jobless for dunno how long, doing something i dun want to tell u guys.

Hahaha! no lar.
I'm jus sick of repeating myself whenever pple ask me what i'm gonna do after.
Then u see their faces drop after hearing my reply n they look at me like i'm crazy.

So yes, i'm aware of the terrible economic climate out there.
No i do not have any back up plan for my plan.
Oh, yeah, i think i will like shrivel up n die if forced to work in an office environment.
N yeahhhhh.... please dun remind me that i'm already turning 29 in 2 months' time n time is not really on my side for any more frivolity.

SIGH.

I KNOW. OKIE.



But i do also know that i'm looking forward to this big change.
For once then, i will be doing stuff for myself on my own.
Of cos it is more challenging to keep oneself motivated esp when there r no authorities behind for the push factors.
I believe that as the time comes closer, I will ready my mind for all of that crap lar.
N i also believe that once i get on the intended path, the light at the end of the tunnel will guide me along.
A real entrepreneur will need to have a positive mindset! BleahG! ;p


And since we r on tt topic, i'm gonna b buay pai say n ask that u click on tt Nuffnang ad thing each time u come visit my blog.
Well it changes quite often now doesn't it? like every fornight?
Well today it's The Dogs movie trailer or something.
You will contribute dunno wat 1 cent or something with every unique visit or dunno how they count it la. (Obviously u see the plain template of my humble blog u can deduce tt i'm either a very lazy person or highly computer illiterate. Unfortunately it's the latter n here i m shamelessly asking for u to click more often on my very plain blog. argh!~)

Aiyah no virus or wat la. Confirm one. Maybe a cookie or two only. but then again Facebook's full of cookies!!! ;D

I pledge to entertain you with my random musings, daydreams, rantings, words, whatever i can manage. okie? ;)

Cos really, I think too much like ALL the time n I have been shut up for a really long time!
Now i will start to Blah Blah Blah~ again til yr ear drums hurt!

Eeeps time's up, my buttermilk pancakes r ripe in Cafeworld liao!
Laters~

London

The streets, the air which makes my nose bleed, the Underground, the Maharishi, the Covent Garden.
The 97 restaurant along Chinatown, the Covent garden branch of H&M which is my favourite.
The houses in Victoria Street i walked past while getting lost from High Street Ken back to Gloucester.
The Ann Summers which have Rabbits n knick knacks i've bought notti gifts from.
The duck along Bayswater.
The musicals, the theaters.
The ones i've never watched.
The ones i've watched with company.
The ones i've watched alone.
The gloom.
The rain.
The accent, the grubby ppl, the stylish ppl.
The London Bridge i've still yet to see.
The London Eye i've yet ridden.
The hope to live here for 6 months at least just for the hell of it.
The Selfridges on Oxford St n luxury shops along Bond tt i've had gone outta my way to avoid.
The museums i've not yet found time to visit.
The jog in Hyde Park I've procrastinated everytime.
The tea n scones in Harrods I was brought to once.
The memories.....

The love-hate relationship I have with the flights up here.
I'll always love you London! This trip might be my last.
Or there could be another one b4 the end of my career.
But i just need to tell ya you will always have a piece of me.

Still Eat. Good!

Dinner at Rice Table with the Dome Darlings were really good today.

Possibly the best n heartiest n happiest meal i've ever had in the past 1 month when i've been moping with my head down n the edges of my mouth pulled down.

Oh the food still as good as well.
The potato things, the cucumber salad. the fruit salad. the chicken in sweet sauce. the otah. the fish. the tahu telor. the sayur lodeh. the brinjal. the lady's fingers. the chendol. n they say the beef stew. n today's favorite : the fried chicken wings.

N good news was confirmed! wheeeeee!!! ;)

We're gonna have lucky lady charm near us til third quarter next year. Soooo Egg-citing!
*winks*

The simplest things makes me happy.
Not moping anymore!
(probably til until before i have to go for my next flight. Boo.!)

48 hrs in Paris

Fri morning touch down 7am
Check in 8.30 am.
Smoked.
showered. Crashed.
4pm woke up text girlfren.
Spoke to sweetest bf on phone.
5.17 pm Grilfren finished work n called.
Changed n went down lobby wait for gf at 6pm.

Walked to cafe n had aperitif(b4 dinner drinks) though i was starving.
Cos gf said its frenchy thing to do. n 7 pm too early on fri to have dinner anyways
Ordered salad n kir something, white wine with peach schnapps.
Damn scared to get drunk cos empty stomach.
Not to mention i wa jus dying to have a full satisfying meal, regardless of whether is it french proper dinner time or not.

Ate starter from 830 to 9.30 pm. Mix pot of meats was fantastic! nothing u can get at home.
Drank red wine even though i preferred white.
Had doggie food like lamb mealball. more like mushed up lamb which made me 'ge-lat'
Had fantastic apple crumble with tiramisu like tasting but hell lot better ice cream.
Swapped half with gf cos i think she liked my dessert better.
Gf paid for dinner.
prob 100 euros.

Went to English pub.
Had 2 jaeger bombs n 1 kilkenny n 1 1664 kronenburg which i so loved between us 2.
the djs here seemed to play alot of David Guetta remixes n oh yeah, Pitbull songs n recent Rnb stuff i like!
Went out for fresh air cos too stuffy in pub.
Outside is 5 degrees. of cos inside no aircon.
Took cab to another area with an aussie pub n irish pub opp each other.
Went inside Irish pub.
Dj played same music as the last.
Had 2 half pint Strongbows with cassis syrup, 2 vodka mint shots which tasted jus like Listerine, 2 vodka lime sodas which they dun use lime cordial at all (argh), 2 more jaeger bombs between us n another 1664 beer.
All paid by me.
To make up to gf for paid for dinner.

Gf gets picked up by 22 yr old cute boy.
Gf gets picked up by 60 yr old dancing man when salsa song played.
Gf gets picked up by 36 yr old nice man. she gives number.
I take pics.... ;D

Leaves pub at 5 am (11 am sg time) not drunk at all....
had hard time getting cab
walks for 15 mins.
Fianlly gets cab.
Gf crashes in my room cos dun wan her to drive.

Next day wakes up at 10am, 11am, 1230 am n finally 1pm.
cos i was hungry
Got showered n changed while gf snoozes more.
finally wakes her up at 2pm cos i think of how many things i wanted to do (check out price of non contract iphone; too expensive, buy sothys post wax cream, visit the eiffel tower n take pics)

Gf drove to her home n bought pastries for breakfast
yeah breakfast at 3pm.
had tea in her kitchen while waiting for her to shower n change.
4pm left her house but went to grocery shop cos she felt compelled to show me wat she eats
Stopped by at florist cos she likes to buy flowers.

is 5pm.
My only day in Paris is gone.
N pastries r too sweet for my savoury tongue as a breakfast.
I crave curry pok.
n i getting gastric cos no hot meal n all tt waiting around.

Parked at champs elysee.
Gf went w me to SFR (phone provider in France)
iphone without contract is 590 euros for 3Gs 16gb. need to crack somemore.
Checked with bf. too ex. hopingto find a deal at 400euros.
went to another phone provider.
They dun do iphones without contract.
stopped looking.
Am disappointed.

Walked n walked all the way to St honore to Sothys to buy post waxing cream.
Cost 27.90 euro here but approx 42 euros when bought back in Sg.
Only thing on my checklist done as i purchased 2 tubes.

Walked n walked as waiting for dinner time to meet Gf's other visiting frenz from amsterdam.
Hoping to catch a glimpse of eiffel tower but scared to ask.
Stopped at cafe n had coke n fries cos i so hungry for HOT food.
Gf says is not French to snack.
I dun care. m not French.
tt's why im fat. OK?
Why must i conform jus cos im there!??!?!

Had lotsa pork for dinner.
food was fantastic.
though the additional company of a baby-talking high flying Shell exec expatriated from Sg to Amsterdam who thinks tt stewardess get paid alot for doing nothing n her English bf who thinks tt we sit around so much onboard n get DVT pisses me off.

Gf ordered total 2 bottles of wine
i look at ticking clock.
i wanna come back n sleep
i dun wanna talk anymore.
i dun have anymore euros left for cab ride back. or to pay for dinner if need to split. i had to card it, defnitely.

Bill came. 208 euros was the damage.
Baby talking high flying Shell expat from sg n I split the bill, credit card.
Was hoping Gf will pay me back half since i already compensated for her dinner treat by getting ALL the drinks the night b4.
Wrong.

104 euros is 210 sg dollars.
dinner with pple who annoyed me.
Heart pain.

Except for the fantabulous French food experience i seriously wished i had my best friends n boyfriend with me instead.
210 sg dollar spent on dinner would not seem like such a waste then.

12am back in room.
Spied boyfriend whom i miss so much on Skype.
I love you dear bb.
have to wake 7 hrs later to fly back to SG
Full load.
Day flight.
Sure gonna die.

But i cant wait to come home .
Screw seeing the Eiffel Tower n frenchy food n frenchy pple.
Im sick of atas pretentious fly life.
I wanna stay at home n be grounded forever.

Oh n my leave for Zoukout was denied.
A-fucking-gain.

So i cannot attend wedding.
N maybe not Zoukout.
Wat the FucK.

P/S. after shower when back in room realised tt i left my Sothys cream worth 54 euros for 2 tubes at the restaurant.
So officially this trip i come home empty handed. with a lighter than started out with cargo bag.
So so stupid.
*bang head*

Stomach problems

Thou shalt not sleep on a full stomach.

Thou shalt not wait til too bloody damn hungry then eat.

Thou shalt avoid raw foods of all kind.

Thou shall stay away from shell fish of most kinds.

Thou shalt always carry gastric reflux meds, gastroentritis meds with thyself at all times.

Thou shalt not overstuff one's own stomach.

Thou shalt shun caffeine, dairy stuff which aggravates bloating n gastric reflux reactions. (think alcohol okie as long as with mixer huh? *guffaws*)

Thou shalt learn to drink hot drinks (like old man bf) instead of being an ice coke ice chocolate ice anything loving maniac.

Thou shalt search for a tummy transplant procedure.

Thou shalt not smoke so much, else i foresee myself contracting stomach cancer like Gramps did.

I hate my stomach.
*buRrrP Burrp BUUUuuuUUuuRP*

Sounds like a bullfrog in the house.
*BroUpor burp*

;_(

^&*$%@%^%&^**%

Conflict of Interests...

i began scrolling thru this lousy blog of mine.. for the first time....(compared to Incredulously Rara World of Peculiar Flygirl lar)..
n i realised i've been complaining bout being bored n static since MAY. fucking MAY.

anyway...
there seems to b a conflict of interest as i try to log onto both different accts on Blogger on different tabs...
this window from intothesouth.com keeps asking me for authentication???!?! Virus? Bug?
simi intothesouth!??!?! argh


i miss my old blog... (yes its still there, jus locked n private n under a different url...;)
i miss my old life.
n i miss my old non-saggy face!!!!!

VON!! CO!! have u looked at our pics jus 8 months ago?!??!
(my last post on the old blog was nic's bday at tt restaurant-wats-tt-name n linda's bday lor! ;D)
our face the skin so taut, no saggy chins lar!!

Time to save up not only for babies but for radio frequency/laser treatments...
hohoho~
;D
........................................................................

He leaves me at home BECAUSE i'm fat, saggy, old n ugly...

OR

I become fat, saggy, old n ugly BECAUSE he leaves me at home?

Cast yr votes..

there will b conflicts of interests everywhere we go n in everything tt we do.

SIGHhhhhh~
........................................................

Something which PISSED me off big time during work today.

Some cheebye threw tissue in my face cos some coke mist accidentally sprayed in his direction when i popped open a Coke can.

I work hard for my money n i get abused.
By both men, women, ppl of all races n religion, ages, languages, whether i'm wrong or right.

i wonder if this is my life. or whether this is wat i deserve.
i clear clogged toilet basins, wipe dry toilet floors n counter tops.
Clear dirty cups n vomitus.
Help mommies throw away shit filled diapers.

n i still get abused.

This post will b reminder for me when i don't have the courage to leave come 1st quarter 2010.
SIGH~

Financial damages.

I bought new bags in Milan LAST month (2 for the price of 1!!!) n im still suffering from credit card payment damages n nil savings.
*scowl*

This is bloody annoying.

U buy one big item n suffer for 2 months after.

Money do have wings. Flying off to freedom faster than u can catch it.

Explains y i haven't upgrade my mobile phone either.

Note to friends who read this......
since the icomm roaming sms service shut down, n my phone has no cut n paste function to use the m1 roaming sms service effectively, (gotta type in message i 60 secs or some crap like dat know!!) i won't be replying smses while abroad one.

unless i have internet access.... n will use internet sms.

my phone bill came n i like spent 50 bucks on a puny number of smses lor.
90¢ each from India. 60¢ each from all other locations.
Argh!

Going back to London tomorrow.
Damn scared will fall sick again one.... *brrrr*

Hokkaido trip Day 6 & 7

We had lotsa ice cream on Day 6

Soda, melon, lavender, kiwi...
u can get up to SEVEN different swirls of flavours in one single cone!!

We went to the town of Otaru for coffee.
Where u paid a little more to keep the coffee cups as souvenirs
Of cos keep kitty cups la.
i like wat! ;p

Otaru also has alot of stores selling musical boxes!
N glass blowing.... n intricate stuffs..

Think our best lunch so far during the tour.

hugeass scallops.
BBQ-ing in their own juices n butter...

Big shell

Big shell!
If its as wide as my fat face, it's Big lar!

Big shell fan

big shell eyes...

Can't remember wat this place is in Otaru also..
jus stop to take photo only after lunch
some scenic canal with oil lamps on the sidewalk.

Went to temple of the Fox spirit..

Where u rinse before u pray..

Fortunately for us there was some kinda carnival (aka pasar malam) outside the temple.


It's children wonderland as even cotton candy is sold in a wide variety of cartoon/manga wrappers!

Those stick balloon thingys r like damn hot, everybody bought them!!

Little japanese girls playing tikam.
Just pay 400 yen n they get a spade to scoop up colourful balls from the water..

"like tt also fun meh?? -__-" i asked my sister..

More tikam games as the kids choose the balloon they want n r given a hooked stick n they fish it out from the water.

Expensive candies
3 for 1000yen. (SGD15)

..............................................

Sapporro Tower as we go back to Sapporo Town...

I chew on a Green tes mochi with red bean filling..
yum yum~

Dinner of kobe beef
i had a thin slice n its good!!!

6 groups from our tour ordered live abalones
they were cooked live in a hotpot in sake.
it's damn 'jek ark' la to see these dudes squirming around in the heat of the pan. ;(

i took a video on my dad's camcorder n mum was not amused n told me to imagine if one of my kids got pulled away to get cooked.

Hokkaido only camembert cheese flavoured Collons!
..................................................................

We had half a day before boarding the plane on Day 7 n so were brought to a outlet shopping place near Chitose airport.

Bought nothing cos was outta yen n dad specifically told me not to use my credit cards.

Try these fried potato chips!

Apparently they were released as limited edition the previous year n each buyer had to q damn long at the airport for it n were limited only to 3 boxes only.

This marks the end of my Hokkaido trip n i brought home a pretty chocolate brown Porter Japan bag for the boyfriend for his birthday n a 1.5 kg tube of spare lard coating my waist.
Argh*