Love, like rain.......

"Love, like rain, can nourish from above, drenching couples with a soaking joy.

But sometimes, under the angry heat of life,

Love dries on the surface and must nourish from below,

Tending to its roots,

Keeping itself alive."

- The Five People You Meet in Heaven by Mitch Albom

I devoured this book in one sitting(actually only bout 4-5 hours), on this Saturday night when i'm at home.

When I picked up the book again after a shower, boyfriend came by with surprise dinner tapao jus when I was settling for yoghurt n potato crisps for a late dinner. 

That was nice...... :)

Actions like these, n those of little initiatives, like holding my hand n telling me everything is gonna be fine whilst in an argument....

are to me like love in the rain.

It falls over us n reaches the grounds, n gets stored beneath the earth's surface for use again when too much heat n sun takes a toil on us. 

It can then be tapped from the roots of our love again, for days when the love no longer falls like rain.

How much is in our love reservoir?

How deep underground do our roots of love stretch?

I stress again and always on the foundations of a relationship.

Communication, understanding..... lotsa talkin talkin talking....

To me... when a couple gets each other, it's everything. Ain't it?

.................................................

Nearing 3/4 of the book, parents started hollering at each other in the bedroom

Well, more like my dad hollering n my mom speaking in hushed tones.

Sounded to me like 1 wanting very very much to communicate n talk n be heard n be understood. While the other simply was too lazy to do so. 

N they do this all the time!?

N I feel the pain of both, u know?

The one who wishes to be heard n understood becomes more desperate n despaired when the other refuses to see things his/her way.

It becomes a lonely battle with one's own mind. 

How else do u get outta yr head what u wanna say, jus to one particular person, most of the time the closest to u?

The one who is simply too tired, blanked out from work, can't handle neediness, can't express self person will simply become horribly frustrated at the other person who keeps pushing his/her tots onto ownself.

He/she feels like the other is trying to force something outta them. n therefore, more frustrations.

Leading to anger.

SIGH.

It sounded n feels like my arguments with bf. 

Well. i dunno. 

There r bad days n there r good days.

I'm jus glad to be home tonight to witness my parents' fight. 

At least i know wat goes on beneath the surface, though im still wondering whether it was okie for me to intervene the way i did.

It affirmed the fact that i need to sit down with my mommy for a good heart to heart talk one day...

Well i think i shld make it soon.

N it also kinda added more stress for me being the eldest in the family n being jobless n kinda in between everything in life now.

Argh.

Esp when hearing daddy lamenting while in tt argument jus now bout how tired he is of working working working n how he feels like jus shirking responsibility n walking out.

I cant blame him really.... bearing the burden of a family of 4+1 on his aching, tired n sore knees is really bad.

(+1 cos of grandpa. n Grandpa is simply driving mom up the wall with his stupid elderly tantrums n quirks. n mom in turn drives dad up the wall cos she needs an outlet. i just wish it was Grandma instead of Grandpa though. Cos she's so much more of a delight to have around. Fuck. should i even be allowed to say this?!?!? Geez)

I have sore knees too, n i know exactly how bad it feels every single second.

I need a sign, a direction. Someone to tell me wat to do quick so i can relieve my sore kneed father before he can no longer walk.

Time to look into my reservoir of strength, which gets bigger n deeper as more Love Rain falls. 

I draw strength from my rship. I know it's a big risk to take. 

But tt's me, when im happy in love, nothing else matters.

Superheros by the Beach!

Date 21st March 2010, Sunday

Time 10am to 5pm

Venue East Coast Park E2 (next to East Coast Lagoon Hawker Centre)

Doggie Express Grooming by School of Pet Grooming for just $10!!

For more information on doggie contests n activities, please visit http://www.petschannel.com/events/details/superheros-by-the-beach/135

This is where i will be!! 

A yearly event! Bring yr pooch along to say hi! ;D

Celebration of freedom...Realisation of New Prison.

For those of u who loved my old blog....

I've unlocked it... 

Whole n in 1 piece. ;)

Only thing is.. the links are all messed up cos i changed URL like many times during those turbulent times.

I might not have dyed my hair ah lian auburn like i swore i would. But now that Im outta the company, this is my way of celebrating my new found freedom. ;D

Hey come to think bout it, i haven't gone out n got drunk or did something really naughty even though I've had things to celebrate for lei! WTF!

Well, so here it is. 

www.disappeared-without-a-trace.blogspot.com

I know I havent been putting pics in this current blog, though the iPhone has made it much more convenient.

The arrival of Twitter has not helped either.

I looked thru my old posts n pics from 2008 only i had like an overdose of nostalgia.

Not only was i skinnier n leaner. I had soooooo many activities ALL the time!!

Going out to play. going out to sightsee. Group outings... OMG!

Why ... why did i let myself slip into someone I dun even recognise anymore?!?! when clearly i stated here that I would guard my heart with all my might n vowed never to get lost.

the excerpt:

"because when u lose yr head n expect unspoken things to be done to u n then settle all things spoken is not Shiok~

But also cos u can't help thinking tt time spent with yr friends makes u happier n less expectant...

I'm getting my head back becos of all the bad lessons i've learnt in Love.

Which is Lesson #706
NEVER have expectations..

-a) lesson will hurt u
-b) never expect behaviours of reciprocations becos of wat u do thru-out the process
-c) never lose yr head n imagine snapshots of bliss...

Truth is......

Reality of sleepiness n monday blues won't satiate yr romantic fantasies...

Shut up all u who ask me wat is a rship without expectations

It's is called a Pessimistic n 'dunno go where 'r-ship...."

Could it becos of this? When my walls came down?

Anyway, during the past week, i've managed to step back a little n look at things from a different perspective.

I've been in current relationship n staying in it jus wishing n waiting for the desired end result.

I've given up a large part of who i m for this guy.

I've seen that everyone around me including HIM have moved along in life n got better jobs, etc etc. 

But myself.

I see myself now n i wanna slap my pathetic self.

I lost tt fiesty catty side of me.

Cos i'm scared.

Honestly, i'm scared of not being able to find a good man

I'm scared of going thru the whole courtship/relationship process all over again with another person.

This is why i m still here.

Complaining, sulking... n STILL BLOODY NOT GETTING MY WAY.

My old blog used to get me my way all the time. (N got me into trouble! ;p)

It also used to make me heard all the time. I never cared who read my emo or embarrassing drunken post either.

So why did i start caring just cos he disapproved!??!?

I M who i M.

I believe now that when i forgot this simple fact.

SO DID YOU.

I'm gonna wake up tomorrow n remind myself of this. Tomorrow will be a better day. As will the day after n the day after. ;) This i promise u, my friends, n myself!

Positive Psych.

So talking bout applying positive psychology in life huh?

To me, Happiness could probably be attained by:

1) Getting over the stuff that makes one dissatisfied with life n turn it all around n make it seem postive lor (obviously easier said than done. FYL)

2) Striving to work very very hard so as to attain the goals, wants, needs, etc that satisfies one.
(Does not work in every aspect of life, for eg relationships, partner in life.)

3) Just live with it laaaar. (Read again Pt. #1) -_-

4) Making a decision to do away with the source of unhappiness n move on to seek personal nirvana. (Hard to do most of the times...)

5) Just enjoy the ups n cruise thru the downs, awaiting the next upper, if ever. (This is what i'm doing....)


K im feeling incredibly pessimistic now.
Doesn't matter even if at least 3 positive things happen to me each n everyday.
These positive things r still not what i like fanatically.
doooo dooo dooooooo~ *hums* SIGH~

Digestible?

How would u take it if the love in yr life keeps telling u, over n over that yes, u r a priority in his life. But not the foremost thing on his mind.

Kinda an irony ain't it?

He's just Not that into you. If he's breaking up with you. - Excerpts from the book

"A man who wants to make a relationship work will move mountains to keep the woman he loves.

If he's not calling you to tell you he loves u n wants u back, it shld only be because he's showing up at yr new residence to do it in person.

If he's not trying to romance yr socks off w dates, flowers, and poetry, it shld only be because he's too engrossed with his couples counselling workbooks n is priortising getting back on the right track.

If he's not doing any of that, he may love you, he may miss you, but ultimately he's just not that into you."

Another:

"If he's not calling you to tell you he hired a U-haul to come pick up your stuff n move it back into his house, then consider yrself a nice, downy little pillow cushioning him from his feelings of lonliness and loss tt he's not fully ready to deal with on his own."

OMG What had I done?

I had this book for the longest time but i nvr read it til 2 nights ago.
Instead I chose to listen to other women. Who said that I was the one who expected too much.
"You think wat? like in drama series meh?? expect him to chase after u on the road ah?"

Obviously some of these women need to read this book too.

Yep. So i listened instead of sticking to my own beliefs n waited for 4 days before I went to get him.

I'm a door mat. FML.

So... wat shld i do now?

相爱没有那么容易 。

Cos 每个人有他的脾气。
This week's 93.3fm 's chart topper.

Dun ask me why. Cos the lalio at grooming school is forever turned to tt freaking chAnnel.

Give me a couple more months n I can comfyly integrate into KTV culture.

It's written in my 八字。 I'm destined to have relationship problems all my life cos of my 七杀 n dunno wat in my pillar of life. So... FML.

I wish my 正官 could b stronger. Then maybe I can b stronger more independent n can have my doggie store earlier.


Do u believe in fortune telling? If it is all written in the stars. N all we can do is to deviate tt little from our destined path in lives. Yet still having to face up to wat destiny has in store for us. Wat would u you do?

要还是不要。

It's a constant struggle for me.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Lost in Translation

I'm confused.

No one really understands me these days.

I also dun understand myself now.

K for the first time, I have no words to describe wat i feel....

Just.. duh....

It's like my antenna is giving off wrong signs n signals all the time.

Argh.

K it was a really rough week.
Maybe i just need a drink.

What car am I?

So yours truly has been going out to play with a bunch of fly boys.
Though my role is purely that of 'mamasan' like...
Bringing entertainment to my single girlfriends n guy friends alike.

N Fly Boy AT had to tell me that gf TT is like a Ferrari that every man like to have.
Well. Said TT is well endowed with a gorgeous face n enviable body tt i do not have to elaborate on.
But then he said... 'I jus wanna have a Toyota lor, something that everybody has but will not WANT to have"

Which got me thinking...
WOW... which car brand am I?
I do not wish to be tt coveted Ferrari, cos i do not have tt sleek body n assets.
An Aston Martin would be reserved for celebrities n trophy girlfriends.

Sigh.....

Since Fly Boy AT did not wanna give me an immediate valuation, I can only imagine what kinda men come shop for me at the car showroom. ;( geez..

I do wish that I'm just a BMW.
the brand speaks for itself.
I will be troublesome when u dun maintain me well, but when i run, my engine purr like a beauty... n please my driver....
As I age, if i'm well maintained, i will run with u til the end of time.
If not, i will choke n cough n give u problems n require much more attention esp if the needed attention comes too late.

Well i do wish la.
As time passes n my number increases... i jus feel like an old Merc.
with a history of lousy heck care owners.
N giving my current driver a hell lotsa problems requiring major overhauls n reassurance n TLC.
N then the owner will jus give up cos of the high mainainence costs n pass me along to some other unsuspecting old Merc wanter.
Maybe my first owner had really loved me so much n polished n groomed me everyday, drove me without pushing my engines too hard, but we had to part cos of circumstances.
N it was my bad luck to appeal to subsequent horrid owners...

Ahhhh.... the life of a car...
the random owners/drivers it goes thru.
Have u ever imagined, if your car can talk to u.... wat would it tell u? ;)

I believe my family car might just b one of my soulmates...
For witnessing all kinds of conversations, moods, driving styles while my family members n myself are in it.

Well... i dunno la. maybe i talking rubbish....
Ten dogs to help out with later...
N i wanna prove tt i won't b late.
Good night!!

Heart*

Big black gooey eyes.....
Silky soft fur.....
Loyal n attentive.....
A little bit of fats
A little bit of a rascal...
Loves to copy the way humans talk...
I miss him so much...... ;_(

My Whiskey!!

The Last One

When I forgot how much I used to love my job, Edd reminded me how happy I was 6 years back when I found out I got accepted.

D: Was I really really happy? I can't remember....
E: Yeah. It was a world class day.
D: Really???

N then I remembered.
I skipped, i giggled, I looked at the sky n at the planes passing and I smiled cos I imagined the freedom that would come to me soon.... seeing the world.......

I remembered when I got my first pay check.
I remembered when I finally finished paying for the school loan I owed with my own money.
The kind of empowerment n pride I felt.
I remembered when I got my first complimentary letter. The kind with my name on it.
The pride I put into my job.

I remembered the first n only time I cried after a flight.
It was my 3rd solo n my first team flight. N my team mates were mean n I sat in the toilet next to the bath tub at Thistle-something hotel in London while waiting for Rif to come, smoking and crying n feeling loserish cos I caved n cried. When i tot i would never ever...

I remembered the first time I saw the Eiffel Tower. And the overwhelming excitement when I was going to NYC, jus cos it was so SATC.

The anticipation waiting for each month's roster......

The learning curve was steep. Cos i was the sort who wanted to be good in everything that I do.
I wanted pple to trust me, say that I'm good. N if I was not, i only wanna be better.

The challenges kept coming... different work positions, different loads, different pple to work with, different stress levels....

Until................. it really became no more of a challenge anymore.

N then comfort n complacency set in.
I was really getting bored.
All I wanted was recognition for my hard work....

But it seemed not to bear fruit n certain mistakes were done at some crucial timings.
Medical leave, disciplinary lapses..........
put all my efforts back to naught.

N now here I m.

But I wonder when EVER again I will get to speak with the random ppl I do talk to at work everyday.
Some colleagues leave a distinct foot print in one's life, some just drift past with a mere shadow, not even a face.

Everyday, every different person, Always different jokes. different opinions.

Will I become boring now?

N lastly, cos i left the cast with the backstage passes, I'm so sad that I won't have first hand access to the stories n the cast backstage anymore...! ;(
Not to mention the privileges....

I'm sad. Really.
More than scared for the future.

Cos i think bout how happy n in love I was in the beginning....
N now the love affair had come to an end.
I really dunno how to go about mourning it....

N if the job is not really a thing u can hug n bid farewell properly to.....
How to get closure n say bye bye properly n move on??
I jus wanted to tell it.....
"I love u n will always do. Thank you for the good times, n the bad which toughened me up. For being the pillar in my life when everything else like my love life was meaningless. For giving me the chance to see the world. I only wished that I had made more good friends who could relate to u as well as me so I can keep u in my memories for longer. It's all like tt Aerosmith's song tt goes 'i dun wanna miss a thing...' "

Sigh why do i feel so alone in this feeling now?
Any other fly girls out there who have jus quit their jobs n feeling melancholic like i do??
I dun regret my decision at all, I jus wanna talk bout it.... like u know??? geeez

BAD Rep Personified.

So now i officially got Bad Reputation.

Heard in Zouk no less. Argh.

So i bumped into a really old fren whom i used to work part time w at Z n is currently also a fly boy. We also used to hang out on late nights on motor bikes n all when i was barely 20.

N the conversation turned out like this.

NG: Oh ur bf my sec school one lar!! YTSS! u ask him he sure know me one!!
Do: Wah so small world lar! But we arguing quite bad. dunno whether will b ex soon or not.

NG: Yar i heard bout how u guys were going...........

Do: wha...?? Huh??

......

Do: eh be a fren. tell me lei wat u hear lor....

NG: No lar. some common frenz la. ask me if i know u cos he see from fb. n i was like yar.
N they jus talked bout u n him lor.

Do: HAR?!?! Who's tis person?

NG: someone called XA la.

Do: WTf?! I dun even know anybody by tt name!?!??!

NG: Go see FB la maybe u see face know.

Do: then how? wat u hear?

NG: Oh we were at some chalet or hotel room thingy at Orchid Plaza or dunno wat. Then in a group la.. Aiyah got alot of HIS common frenz la.

Do: N wat did they say??

NG: That u have very high expectations of yr Bf lor.

Do: -___-"

knn... now someone i dunno saying such personal things bout me.
Of cos my first rxn was to blame the bf. thinking 'nabei wtf he go n tell ppl bout us lor.'
Then my next rxn was to check fb on the holy grail of IT gadgets, ie the iPhone. or rather, any smartphone invented la.
N confirmed tt i dun know this XA jerk who is happily talking bout some other ppl's couple problems.

Then after tt..........
I guess i could flip it around n look at it in the positive way.

- If all random men heard bout my bad rep being a nasty gf n all with over the roof expectations, no wonder no men pick me up at Zouk. FML
- N if any man did, it would b cos he wanted to tame a wild horse??? (positive)
- Or simply want to conquer (negative)
- Or simply outta the loop. (hmmmmm good or bad? still deciding.)

N then suddenly i missed the bf.

Yeah. readers of me blog always knew im a horrid gf. wats new?
So wat if i give alot?
I sure expect a hell lot back too.
I'm insecure as hell n bloody possessive.
N i expect honeymoony lovey dovey 24/7 / forever.

But i tot all girls r like tt?
i mean... from the stories i hear?
But maybe birds of the same feathers flock together. all the problematic girls all hang out together tts y still flockin together?
I really dunno u know? FOL (Fuck our lives)

Ah well....

WEll... I always wondered if i even belong to the high profile kinda person.
Geez, now i know i'm actually talked about behind my back by PEOPLE I DO NOT FUCKIN KNOW no less.
I really dun think tt's high profile in any good way.
FML BIG TIME.
.......................................................................................

N tonight was fly girls/boys nite.

Besides bumping into NG, there was my batchboy i haven't seen in 4 yrs.
N 3 whom i jus came back from flight with.
N many many many many many familiar faces though there was not much crowd.

Perhaps that would be what i would miss bout fly life.
The massive randomness.
Random faces, random names, random ppl, random timing, random places.
All unpredictable n simply rad n mad.
Massive fun for someone young. Like seriously.

but I'm looking forward to no more randoms.
Jus stable boring predictable.
No more living outta a bag.
Maybe cos I'm old.
.....................................................................................
Random quotes:

JM: " Aiyah dun bother bout wat ppl say bout u lar. jus remember. only the good looking ppl gets gossiped about."

Wah sibei flattering.
Totally accepted.

KP: " Seriously. Stop fighting with yr bf ready. if he doesn't do 3 things. Which is, he doesn't beat u, have bad temper or cheat on u. Can already"

Said like he can smell my 麻繁ness!
FML!!
After all we only jus did a flight together n he was a flygirl fren's ex!

oooh.... but from a man's point of view. Simple, direct, to the point.
But women r simply complicated.
Well. 50-50 la. FML n FTL (fuck their lives)
.................................................................................

Drinks downed tonight:

half jug vodka jelly,
01 gls champagne rose
1.5 jaeger bomb
01 white wine spritzer.

Only paid for 2 shots jaeger cos of some awesome gentlemen who took such gd care of me.
Cos i intro flygirls to them lor! ;D

N i drove home.
Thus composing this blog post in my head.



I seriously wish that when i stop flying the smiles n laughter will come back n the insecurity will go away. Truly.

Resignation FAQs

So I serving my notice now right.
The other girls are completely envious n some awesomely jealous.
Others, well, they just try to make me feel bad that i quit.
Which also means they r, jealous.

These r some questions I kinda grew tired of answering...
Starting with the most often asked.

Question #1: So what r u gonna do after?
A: Slack around first lor. Finish my doggie grooming course. i believe in 船到桥头 自然直。
(which literally means, Whatever will be will be.)

N i stop saying more when they give me the skeptical look.
So sometimes i dun even bother to go on bout my doggie grooming thing.
Well alot of them i hardly know, so i cannot be bothered to explain myself.
I'm 28 going on to 29 very soon.
It's my last chance to make mistakes before i turn 30.
Make seemingly crazy decisions n live the bohemian life i always sort after.

I might take a different course in life. I might regret
Or change my mind.
Who knows?
You know exactly wat's gonna happen in 2010?
Mommy says there's gonna be another recession cos all the countries r in bad debts.
But nobody's told me if 2012 is really gonna happen or not in the first place!?!
So why not now? ;D

Question #2: SO u have found another job?
A: No. (in an indignant tone of voice)

Question #3 Then wat u gonna do!?!??!
A: (controls rolling eyes) Repeat answer in Q#1

Question #4: Where u gonna be??
A: Please see answer to Q#1.
In SG la. more specifically, in the day i will be somewhere in Jalan Kayu.
In the nights I will b in my bed, or my bf's. Duh. -.-


Question#5: Why you wanna quit???

A: *Sighs for dramatic effect* Come March it will be 6 years lei.
If it's my fellow colleagues i will say, "u not sian meh? everyday do the same things, take the same shit. I can't take it anymore. i feel like i wanna punch my pax"

If it's an outsider, (most of whom who feel like cabin crews' lives damn happening n earn alot of moolah n fucking fun to fly here n fly there) I have to explain more.

I'm sick of explaining.
Basically the job is shit.
Though i dun deny that i learnt the most lessons in life the past 6 years.
I had the happiest n the saddest memories.
I was surrounded by pple i love most n pple i dun know at all.
Instead of taking for granted everyday life as it is, I learnt that time is precious.

The first 3.5 years were the best.
Thereafter, my insides r craving for something better, something new. To push myself to be a better person.
I feel it's time to make my other dreams come true.
Since I can't grow up n b a chief anymore! ;)

Question #6 : So you gonna be tai tai lar! Getting married?!
A: Unfortunately, none of the above. Not even close!

Question#7: Then $$ how?

A: Saved enough for being jobless 6 months. Taking into account that I can't live the way I used to when i working la. No more impulse buying, no more going to clubs n ordering lotsa lotsa crazy drinks. Eat at coffee shops n food courts more. But pretty much the past 1 year I have cut down on everything else luxe.

Anyway i think i save more money on my days in SG. No H&M, overseas shopping = Safe.
Therefore, please do not intro me to any online shopping, sample sales, wat branded branded things anymore please. I'm also gonna cut down on reading fashion magazines.
The flesh can only stay strong THIS much..... ;D

Question#8 : That must have been a very brave decision u made.

A: In a way, yeah. I have been battling with the idea for 1 year. I tossed n turned in bed more n more when the timing drew closer.
I look at my bank balance everyday n fret that I dun have enough for my future plans.
I buy a piece of clothing n i beat myself up mentally.
I lost my iPhone n stabbed myself when i had to get an expensive replacement.
I looking for a cheaper place where I can renew n continue my yoga practice.
I no longer wanna sign anything to my credit cards, or debit cards.
I have arguments with bf cos of my own insecurity.
I still have yet to set myself a monthly pocket money budget n how to stick to it, but i imagine my cards might just b frozen into a block of ice Confessions of a Shopaholic style. -____-"
I'm quite stressed just thinking bout the whole financial thing.

BUT! Whatever will be will be. Ommmmmmmmmm~~

Question #9 (mostly from colleagues) : So how to quit ah??

A: Write letter, address to (I will send u the template if u want w adressee address all) n go back to main center, 3rd floor blah blah blah blah blah.

Outsiders probably dun understand why this is daunting to us cos the fact is, nomad workers like us have no office lor.
We dunno who is the head HR guy or who/which department to turn to for little stuff like claims n pay issues cos we r always on the road.
N the office does so many shuffling of staff around that the names behind each department do not have a face also.

All i know is that they were gonna hold my AWS if i tendered earlier, luckily when i tendered on the 4th, it was too late for accountign to hold my 13th month bonus. ALL of $1300 ONLY.
N they will also hold my allowances n pay for the whole month of Jan til i do clearance n only pay me in end Feb. That's being optimistic too.

Question#10: Good luck to you, all the best and the feeling must be damn shiok lar!
Then *groans* i wish i also can quit like you... *sulks n pout*

A: YAR the feeling damn shiok can! I wake up everyday feeling fresh n alive with the new chapter ahead!
N yes, u can make it happen too. Just make the decision, take the time u need to make sure u made the right decision (which is when u feel nothing good bout the job anymore) n take the first step out n DO IT.

Q#10 cont'd : But I cannooootttt. I wanna buy Jimmy Choo shoes on sale! $400 bucks also i just buy! I'm not so crazy bout bags but shoes shoes!! i will buy!! ........(continue chattering bimbotic- like until i wanna slap the bugger)

A: -____- ai', just find a rich bf n marry him la

Q#10 cont'd: Yar i believe that men supposed to support us women in terms of all these one lor, if any of them offer to buy for me i sure take one lar!!

Conversation evolves into one where the useless backboneless typical blood sucking leeches of a woman talk about where to score rich old men for boyfriends, ..... and wat else? More talk on bags n shoes n bags n shoes........ Fuck my life.

Incidentally, i think most men r such suckers that they let themselves be leeched off too, rich or not. R they stupid? Or r these sorta women more smart??
For u to judge.

Of cos not all stewardesses are like that laaaarrr.......
Those like that one of cos NOT my friends. hahahaha~
But so far, i think like 50% of the girls r like that, superficial n bimbotic.
Wonder if that applies to the rest of the women population out there. hmmm.
But that's another topic for another post.

Welcome to the family! - NOT!

Im too lazy to draft out my resignation letter now.
super sleeeeppyyy....

I also just remembered menstruating women not advised to do yoga esp the power type rite?
cos of the many inverted poses?

So.... *yawNNnnnnnn* i will do it in the morning.... ZzzZZz

..................................

On the 2nd n 3rd day of the new year n i've been struggling to reconcile my self esteem n my emotions already.
I really dunno how to explain the situation except to say that it takes 2 hands to clap n my interpersonal skills can only break the ice this far.
It's certainly no fun standing among a group of pple who have no interest in getting to know u better n it's a matter of 10 against 1.
Definitely difficult as well since i realised that I was holding someone back from having full out fun.

The only thought that kept going thru my head was "If u love someone set him/her free."
Which I so dun like cos I just wish we could both play together n be happy.

This totally like.... sucks.

010110

My hangover lasted a good whole day on the last day of 09.
Ushered in the new year wrapped up in bed nursing a headache n counted down the last few mins with Co over the phone.
It has been a loooooooooonnnnng time since i spoke to a gf on the phone so long lor!
Think last time is secondary 2!!!
That's a good 14 years back!

I guess technology made it too easy for ppl to communicate, wat with facebook, twitter, msn, sms etc.
We tend to communicate while multi tasking, like feeding our Cafeworld, cyber stalking on blogs n facebook... that we dun really concentrate on our conversations?

Haha.
So there we were, 2 homely girls staying in on NYE talking on the phone cos EVERYBODY is out.
But i found peace for once. ;D

I've also decided to semi-quit the clubbing scene.
Just had A MOMENT when i stood amongst the maddening crowd at the smoking area in Zouk after losing my phone. Kinda(actually Very) smashed n had tunnel-like vision n only smattering vague pieces of memory....
Ppl leaving messages for me on facebook n i'm like ...."did i buy her a Kiss of Death too??", finding out bout my night bit by bit like in the movie The Hangover. -_-"

Argh. I'm also still trying very hard to remember who i had THAT conversation with. I hope I vetted wat came outta my mouth.

Not only that, my party khakis have mostly grown outta it it feels like. They were all like yawning n complaining of spinning heads after a few drinks.
And drinking is expensive.....

So there, a semi New Year's resolution.

1st Jan first thing in the morning, I decided to accept the friends' offer n get a new iPhone.
I'm still feeling post purchase dissonance. ;(
Not only for having to outlay more $$ for a stupid phone, but also for inconveniencing my friends n taking up their time also.
Aiyoh! i dunno how to repay that favour A&C!!


Sinking feeling also when Beng called me n told me his dad was in hospital.
my first thought was "shit! not on the first day of the new year!"

And somehow, I'm excited bout this whole baby thing.
Been a long time since i held a newborn in my arms n coo at the wrinkly little new arrival. :)

2010.
Keep being good k?