So yours truly has been going out to play with a bunch of fly boys.
Though my role is purely that of 'mamasan' like...
Bringing entertainment to my single girlfriends n guy friends alike.
N Fly Boy AT had to tell me that gf TT is like a Ferrari that every man like to have.
Well. Said TT is well endowed with a gorgeous face n enviable body tt i do not have to elaborate on.
But then he said... 'I jus wanna have a Toyota lor, something that everybody has but will not WANT to have"
Which got me thinking...
WOW... which car brand am I?
I do not wish to be tt coveted Ferrari, cos i do not have tt sleek body n assets.
An Aston Martin would be reserved for celebrities n trophy girlfriends.
Sigh.....
Since Fly Boy AT did not wanna give me an immediate valuation, I can only imagine what kinda men come shop for me at the car showroom. ;( geez..
I do wish that I'm just a BMW.
the brand speaks for itself.
I will be troublesome when u dun maintain me well, but when i run, my engine purr like a beauty... n please my driver....
As I age, if i'm well maintained, i will run with u til the end of time.
If not, i will choke n cough n give u problems n require much more attention esp if the needed attention comes too late.
Well i do wish la.
As time passes n my number increases... i jus feel like an old Merc.
with a history of lousy heck care owners.
N giving my current driver a hell lotsa problems requiring major overhauls n reassurance n TLC.
N then the owner will jus give up cos of the high mainainence costs n pass me along to some other unsuspecting old Merc wanter.
Maybe my first owner had really loved me so much n polished n groomed me everyday, drove me without pushing my engines too hard, but we had to part cos of circumstances.
N it was my bad luck to appeal to subsequent horrid owners...
Ahhhh.... the life of a car...
the random owners/drivers it goes thru.
Have u ever imagined, if your car can talk to u.... wat would it tell u? ;)
I believe my family car might just b one of my soulmates...
For witnessing all kinds of conversations, moods, driving styles while my family members n myself are in it.
Well... i dunno la. maybe i talking rubbish....
Ten dogs to help out with later...
N i wanna prove tt i won't b late.
Good night!!
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Friday, February 5, 2010
Heart*
Big black gooey eyes.....
Silky soft fur.....
Loyal n attentive.....
A little bit of fats
A little bit of a rascal...
Loves to copy the way humans talk...
I miss him so much...... ;_(
My Whiskey!!
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
The Last One
When I forgot how much I used to love my job, Edd reminded me how happy I was 6 years back when I found out I got accepted.
D: Was I really really happy? I can't remember....
E: Yeah. It was a world class day.
D: Really???
N then I remembered.
I skipped, i giggled, I looked at the sky n at the planes passing and I smiled cos I imagined the freedom that would come to me soon.... seeing the world.......
I remembered when I got my first pay check.
I remembered when I finally finished paying for the school loan I owed with my own money.
The kind of empowerment n pride I felt.
I remembered when I got my first complimentary letter. The kind with my name on it.
The pride I put into my job.
I remembered the first n only time I cried after a flight.
It was my 3rd solo n my first team flight. N my team mates were mean n I sat in the toilet next to the bath tub at Thistle-something hotel in London while waiting for Rif to come, smoking and crying n feeling loserish cos I caved n cried. When i tot i would never ever...
I remembered the first time I saw the Eiffel Tower. And the overwhelming excitement when I was going to NYC, jus cos it was so SATC.
The anticipation waiting for each month's roster......
The learning curve was steep. Cos i was the sort who wanted to be good in everything that I do.
I wanted pple to trust me, say that I'm good. N if I was not, i only wanna be better.
The challenges kept coming... different work positions, different loads, different pple to work with, different stress levels....
Until................. it really became no more of a challenge anymore.
N then comfort n complacency set in.
I was really getting bored.
All I wanted was recognition for my hard work....
But it seemed not to bear fruit n certain mistakes were done at some crucial timings.
Medical leave, disciplinary lapses..........
put all my efforts back to naught.
N now here I m.
But I wonder when EVER again I will get to speak with the random ppl I do talk to at work everyday.
Some colleagues leave a distinct foot print in one's life, some just drift past with a mere shadow, not even a face.
Everyday, every different person, Always different jokes. different opinions.
Will I become boring now?
N lastly, cos i left the cast with the backstage passes, I'm so sad that I won't have first hand access to the stories n the cast backstage anymore...! ;(
Not to mention the privileges....
I'm sad. Really.
More than scared for the future.
Cos i think bout how happy n in love I was in the beginning....
N now the love affair had come to an end.
I really dunno how to go about mourning it....
N if the job is not really a thing u can hug n bid farewell properly to.....
How to get closure n say bye bye properly n move on??
I jus wanted to tell it.....
"I love u n will always do. Thank you for the good times, n the bad which toughened me up. For being the pillar in my life when everything else like my love life was meaningless. For giving me the chance to see the world. I only wished that I had made more good friends who could relate to u as well as me so I can keep u in my memories for longer. It's all like tt Aerosmith's song tt goes 'i dun wanna miss a thing...' "
Sigh why do i feel so alone in this feeling now?
Any other fly girls out there who have jus quit their jobs n feeling melancholic like i do??
I dun regret my decision at all, I jus wanna talk bout it.... like u know??? geeez
D: Was I really really happy? I can't remember....
E: Yeah. It was a world class day.
D: Really???
N then I remembered.
I skipped, i giggled, I looked at the sky n at the planes passing and I smiled cos I imagined the freedom that would come to me soon.... seeing the world.......
I remembered when I got my first pay check.
I remembered when I finally finished paying for the school loan I owed with my own money.
The kind of empowerment n pride I felt.
I remembered when I got my first complimentary letter. The kind with my name on it.
The pride I put into my job.
I remembered the first n only time I cried after a flight.
It was my 3rd solo n my first team flight. N my team mates were mean n I sat in the toilet next to the bath tub at Thistle-something hotel in London while waiting for Rif to come, smoking and crying n feeling loserish cos I caved n cried. When i tot i would never ever...
I remembered the first time I saw the Eiffel Tower. And the overwhelming excitement when I was going to NYC, jus cos it was so SATC.
The anticipation waiting for each month's roster......
The learning curve was steep. Cos i was the sort who wanted to be good in everything that I do.
I wanted pple to trust me, say that I'm good. N if I was not, i only wanna be better.
The challenges kept coming... different work positions, different loads, different pple to work with, different stress levels....
Until................. it really became no more of a challenge anymore.
N then comfort n complacency set in.
I was really getting bored.
All I wanted was recognition for my hard work....
But it seemed not to bear fruit n certain mistakes were done at some crucial timings.
Medical leave, disciplinary lapses..........
put all my efforts back to naught.
N now here I m.
But I wonder when EVER again I will get to speak with the random ppl I do talk to at work everyday.
Some colleagues leave a distinct foot print in one's life, some just drift past with a mere shadow, not even a face.
Everyday, every different person, Always different jokes. different opinions.
Will I become boring now?
N lastly, cos i left the cast with the backstage passes, I'm so sad that I won't have first hand access to the stories n the cast backstage anymore...! ;(
Not to mention the privileges....
I'm sad. Really.
More than scared for the future.
Cos i think bout how happy n in love I was in the beginning....
N now the love affair had come to an end.
I really dunno how to go about mourning it....
N if the job is not really a thing u can hug n bid farewell properly to.....
How to get closure n say bye bye properly n move on??
I jus wanted to tell it.....
"I love u n will always do. Thank you for the good times, n the bad which toughened me up. For being the pillar in my life when everything else like my love life was meaningless. For giving me the chance to see the world. I only wished that I had made more good friends who could relate to u as well as me so I can keep u in my memories for longer. It's all like tt Aerosmith's song tt goes 'i dun wanna miss a thing...' "
Sigh why do i feel so alone in this feeling now?
Any other fly girls out there who have jus quit their jobs n feeling melancholic like i do??
I dun regret my decision at all, I jus wanna talk bout it.... like u know??? geeez
Thursday, January 14, 2010
BAD Rep Personified.
So now i officially got Bad Reputation.
Heard in Zouk no less. Argh.
So i bumped into a really old fren whom i used to work part time w at Z n is currently also a fly boy. We also used to hang out on late nights on motor bikes n all when i was barely 20.
N the conversation turned out like this.
NG: Oh ur bf my sec school one lar!! YTSS! u ask him he sure know me one!!
Do: Wah so small world lar! But we arguing quite bad. dunno whether will b ex soon or not.
NG: Yar i heard bout how u guys were going...........
Do: wha...?? Huh??
......
Do: eh be a fren. tell me lei wat u hear lor....
NG: No lar. some common frenz la. ask me if i know u cos he see from fb. n i was like yar.
N they jus talked bout u n him lor.
Do: HAR?!?! Who's tis person?
NG: someone called XA la.
Do: WTf?! I dun even know anybody by tt name!?!??!
NG: Go see FB la maybe u see face know.
Do: then how? wat u hear?
NG: Oh we were at some chalet or hotel room thingy at Orchid Plaza or dunno wat. Then in a group la.. Aiyah got alot of HIS common frenz la.
Do: N wat did they say??
NG: That u have very high expectations of yr Bf lor.
Do: -___-"
knn... now someone i dunno saying such personal things bout me.
Of cos my first rxn was to blame the bf. thinking 'nabei wtf he go n tell ppl bout us lor.'
Then my next rxn was to check fb on the holy grail of IT gadgets, ie the iPhone. or rather, any smartphone invented la.
N confirmed tt i dun know this XA jerk who is happily talking bout some other ppl's couple problems.
Then after tt..........
I guess i could flip it around n look at it in the positive way.
- If all random men heard bout my bad rep being a nasty gf n all with over the roof expectations, no wonder no men pick me up at Zouk. FML
- N if any man did, it would b cos he wanted to tame a wild horse??? (positive)
- Or simply want to conquer (negative)
- Or simply outta the loop. (hmmmmm good or bad? still deciding.)
N then suddenly i missed the bf.
Yeah. readers of me blog always knew im a horrid gf. wats new?
So wat if i give alot?
I sure expect a hell lot back too.
I'm insecure as hell n bloody possessive.
N i expect honeymoony lovey dovey 24/7 / forever.
But i tot all girls r like tt?
i mean... from the stories i hear?
But maybe birds of the same feathers flock together. all the problematic girls all hang out together tts y still flockin together?
I really dunno u know? FOL (Fuck our lives)
Ah well....
WEll... I always wondered if i even belong to the high profile kinda person.
Geez, now i know i'm actually talked about behind my back by PEOPLE I DO NOT FUCKIN KNOW no less.
I really dun think tt's high profile in any good way.
FML BIG TIME.
.......................................................................................
N tonight was fly girls/boys nite.
Besides bumping into NG, there was my batchboy i haven't seen in 4 yrs.
N 3 whom i jus came back from flight with.
N many many many many many familiar faces though there was not much crowd.
Perhaps that would be what i would miss bout fly life.
The massive randomness.
Random faces, random names, random ppl, random timing, random places.
All unpredictable n simply rad n mad.
Massive fun for someone young. Like seriously.
but I'm looking forward to no more randoms.
Jus stable boring predictable.
No more living outta a bag.
Maybe cos I'm old.
.....................................................................................
Random quotes:
JM: " Aiyah dun bother bout wat ppl say bout u lar. jus remember. only the good looking ppl gets gossiped about."
Wah sibei flattering.
Totally accepted.
KP: " Seriously. Stop fighting with yr bf ready. if he doesn't do 3 things. Which is, he doesn't beat u, have bad temper or cheat on u. Can already"
Said like he can smell my 麻繁ness!
FML!!
After all we only jus did a flight together n he was a flygirl fren's ex!
oooh.... but from a man's point of view. Simple, direct, to the point.
But women r simply complicated.
Well. 50-50 la. FML n FTL (fuck their lives)
.................................................................................
Drinks downed tonight:
half jug vodka jelly,
01 gls champagne rose
1.5 jaeger bomb
01 white wine spritzer.
Only paid for 2 shots jaeger cos of some awesome gentlemen who took such gd care of me.
Cos i intro flygirls to them lor! ;D
N i drove home.
Thus composing this blog post in my head.
I seriously wish that when i stop flying the smiles n laughter will come back n the insecurity will go away. Truly.
Heard in Zouk no less. Argh.
So i bumped into a really old fren whom i used to work part time w at Z n is currently also a fly boy. We also used to hang out on late nights on motor bikes n all when i was barely 20.
N the conversation turned out like this.
NG: Oh ur bf my sec school one lar!! YTSS! u ask him he sure know me one!!
Do: Wah so small world lar! But we arguing quite bad. dunno whether will b ex soon or not.
NG: Yar i heard bout how u guys were going...........
Do: wha...?? Huh??
......
Do: eh be a fren. tell me lei wat u hear lor....
NG: No lar. some common frenz la. ask me if i know u cos he see from fb. n i was like yar.
N they jus talked bout u n him lor.
Do: HAR?!?! Who's tis person?
NG: someone called XA la.
Do: WTf?! I dun even know anybody by tt name!?!??!
NG: Go see FB la maybe u see face know.
Do: then how? wat u hear?
NG: Oh we were at some chalet or hotel room thingy at Orchid Plaza or dunno wat. Then in a group la.. Aiyah got alot of HIS common frenz la.
Do: N wat did they say??
NG: That u have very high expectations of yr Bf lor.
Do: -___-"
knn... now someone i dunno saying such personal things bout me.
Of cos my first rxn was to blame the bf. thinking 'nabei wtf he go n tell ppl bout us lor.'
Then my next rxn was to check fb on the holy grail of IT gadgets, ie the iPhone. or rather, any smartphone invented la.
N confirmed tt i dun know this XA jerk who is happily talking bout some other ppl's couple problems.
Then after tt..........
I guess i could flip it around n look at it in the positive way.
- If all random men heard bout my bad rep being a nasty gf n all with over the roof expectations, no wonder no men pick me up at Zouk. FML
- N if any man did, it would b cos he wanted to tame a wild horse??? (positive)
- Or simply want to conquer (negative)
- Or simply outta the loop. (hmmmmm good or bad? still deciding.)
N then suddenly i missed the bf.
Yeah. readers of me blog always knew im a horrid gf. wats new?
So wat if i give alot?
I sure expect a hell lot back too.
I'm insecure as hell n bloody possessive.
N i expect honeymoony lovey dovey 24/7 / forever.
But i tot all girls r like tt?
i mean... from the stories i hear?
But maybe birds of the same feathers flock together. all the problematic girls all hang out together tts y still flockin together?
I really dunno u know? FOL (Fuck our lives)
Ah well....
WEll... I always wondered if i even belong to the high profile kinda person.
Geez, now i know i'm actually talked about behind my back by PEOPLE I DO NOT FUCKIN KNOW no less.
I really dun think tt's high profile in any good way.
FML BIG TIME.
.......................................................................................
N tonight was fly girls/boys nite.
Besides bumping into NG, there was my batchboy i haven't seen in 4 yrs.
N 3 whom i jus came back from flight with.
N many many many many many familiar faces though there was not much crowd.
Perhaps that would be what i would miss bout fly life.
The massive randomness.
Random faces, random names, random ppl, random timing, random places.
All unpredictable n simply rad n mad.
Massive fun for someone young. Like seriously.
but I'm looking forward to no more randoms.
Jus stable boring predictable.
No more living outta a bag.
Maybe cos I'm old.
.....................................................................................
Random quotes:
JM: " Aiyah dun bother bout wat ppl say bout u lar. jus remember. only the good looking ppl gets gossiped about."
Wah sibei flattering.
Totally accepted.
KP: " Seriously. Stop fighting with yr bf ready. if he doesn't do 3 things. Which is, he doesn't beat u, have bad temper or cheat on u. Can already"
Said like he can smell my 麻繁ness!
FML!!
After all we only jus did a flight together n he was a flygirl fren's ex!
oooh.... but from a man's point of view. Simple, direct, to the point.
But women r simply complicated.
Well. 50-50 la. FML n FTL (fuck their lives)
.................................................................................
Drinks downed tonight:
half jug vodka jelly,
01 gls champagne rose
1.5 jaeger bomb
01 white wine spritzer.
Only paid for 2 shots jaeger cos of some awesome gentlemen who took such gd care of me.
Cos i intro flygirls to them lor! ;D
N i drove home.
Thus composing this blog post in my head.
I seriously wish that when i stop flying the smiles n laughter will come back n the insecurity will go away. Truly.
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Resignation FAQs
So I serving my notice now right.
The other girls are completely envious n some awesomely jealous.
Others, well, they just try to make me feel bad that i quit.
Which also means they r, jealous.
These r some questions I kinda grew tired of answering...
Starting with the most often asked.
Question #1: So what r u gonna do after?
A: Slack around first lor. Finish my doggie grooming course. i believe in 船到桥头 自然直。
(which literally means, Whatever will be will be.)
N i stop saying more when they give me the skeptical look.
So sometimes i dun even bother to go on bout my doggie grooming thing.
Well alot of them i hardly know, so i cannot be bothered to explain myself.
I'm 28 going on to 29 very soon.
It's my last chance to make mistakes before i turn 30.
Make seemingly crazy decisions n live the bohemian life i always sort after.
I might take a different course in life. I might regret
Or change my mind.
Who knows?
You know exactly wat's gonna happen in 2010?
Mommy says there's gonna be another recession cos all the countries r in bad debts.
But nobody's told me if 2012 is really gonna happen or not in the first place!?!
So why not now? ;D
Question #2: SO u have found another job?
A: No. (in an indignant tone of voice)
Question #3 Then wat u gonna do!?!??!
A: (controls rolling eyes) Repeat answer in Q#1
Question #4: Where u gonna be??
A: Please see answer to Q#1.
In SG la. more specifically, in the day i will be somewhere in Jalan Kayu.
In the nights I will b in my bed, or my bf's. Duh. -.-
Question#5: Why you wanna quit???
A: *Sighs for dramatic effect* Come March it will be 6 years lei.
If it's my fellow colleagues i will say, "u not sian meh? everyday do the same things, take the same shit. I can't take it anymore. i feel like i wanna punch my pax"
If it's an outsider, (most of whom who feel like cabin crews' lives damn happening n earn alot of moolah n fucking fun to fly here n fly there) I have to explain more.
I'm sick of explaining.
Basically the job is shit.
Though i dun deny that i learnt the most lessons in life the past 6 years.
I had the happiest n the saddest memories.
I was surrounded by pple i love most n pple i dun know at all.
Instead of taking for granted everyday life as it is, I learnt that time is precious.
The first 3.5 years were the best.
Thereafter, my insides r craving for something better, something new. To push myself to be a better person.
I feel it's time to make my other dreams come true.
Since I can't grow up n b a chief anymore! ;)
Question #6 : So you gonna be tai tai lar! Getting married?!
A: Unfortunately, none of the above. Not even close!
Question#7: Then $$ how?
A: Saved enough for being jobless 6 months. Taking into account that I can't live the way I used to when i working la. No more impulse buying, no more going to clubs n ordering lotsa lotsa crazy drinks. Eat at coffee shops n food courts more. But pretty much the past 1 year I have cut down on everything else luxe.
Anyway i think i save more money on my days in SG. No H&M, overseas shopping = Safe.
Therefore, please do not intro me to any online shopping, sample sales, wat branded branded things anymore please. I'm also gonna cut down on reading fashion magazines.
The flesh can only stay strong THIS much..... ;D
Question#8 : That must have been a very brave decision u made.
A: In a way, yeah. I have been battling with the idea for 1 year. I tossed n turned in bed more n more when the timing drew closer.
I look at my bank balance everyday n fret that I dun have enough for my future plans.
I buy a piece of clothing n i beat myself up mentally.
I lost my iPhone n stabbed myself when i had to get an expensive replacement.
I looking for a cheaper place where I can renew n continue my yoga practice.
I no longer wanna sign anything to my credit cards, or debit cards.
I have arguments with bf cos of my own insecurity.
I still have yet to set myself a monthly pocket money budget n how to stick to it, but i imagine my cards might just b frozen into a block of ice Confessions of a Shopaholic style. -____-"
I'm quite stressed just thinking bout the whole financial thing.
BUT! Whatever will be will be. Ommmmmmmmmm~~
Question #9 (mostly from colleagues) : So how to quit ah??
A: Write letter, address to (I will send u the template if u want w adressee address all) n go back to main center, 3rd floor blah blah blah blah blah.
Outsiders probably dun understand why this is daunting to us cos the fact is, nomad workers like us have no office lor.
We dunno who is the head HR guy or who/which department to turn to for little stuff like claims n pay issues cos we r always on the road.
N the office does so many shuffling of staff around that the names behind each department do not have a face also.
All i know is that they were gonna hold my AWS if i tendered earlier, luckily when i tendered on the 4th, it was too late for accountign to hold my 13th month bonus. ALL of $1300 ONLY.
N they will also hold my allowances n pay for the whole month of Jan til i do clearance n only pay me in end Feb. That's being optimistic too.
Question#10: Good luck to you, all the best and the feeling must be damn shiok lar!
Then *groans* i wish i also can quit like you... *sulks n pout*
A: YAR the feeling damn shiok can! I wake up everyday feeling fresh n alive with the new chapter ahead!
N yes, u can make it happen too. Just make the decision, take the time u need to make sure u made the right decision (which is when u feel nothing good bout the job anymore) n take the first step out n DO IT.
Q#10 cont'd : But I cannooootttt. I wanna buy Jimmy Choo shoes on sale! $400 bucks also i just buy! I'm not so crazy bout bags but shoes shoes!! i will buy!! ........(continue chattering bimbotic- like until i wanna slap the bugger)
A: -____- ai', just find a rich bf n marry him la
Q#10 cont'd: Yar i believe that men supposed to support us women in terms of all these one lor, if any of them offer to buy for me i sure take one lar!!
Conversation evolves into one where the useless backboneless typical blood sucking leeches of a woman talk about where to score rich old men for boyfriends, ..... and wat else? More talk on bags n shoes n bags n shoes........ Fuck my life.
Incidentally, i think most men r such suckers that they let themselves be leeched off too, rich or not. R they stupid? Or r these sorta women more smart??
For u to judge.
Of cos not all stewardesses are like that laaaarrr.......
Those like that one of cos NOT my friends. hahahaha~
But so far, i think like 50% of the girls r like that, superficial n bimbotic.
Wonder if that applies to the rest of the women population out there. hmmm.
But that's another topic for another post.
The other girls are completely envious n some awesomely jealous.
Others, well, they just try to make me feel bad that i quit.
Which also means they r, jealous.
These r some questions I kinda grew tired of answering...
Starting with the most often asked.
Question #1: So what r u gonna do after?
A: Slack around first lor. Finish my doggie grooming course. i believe in 船到桥头 自然直。
(which literally means, Whatever will be will be.)
N i stop saying more when they give me the skeptical look.
So sometimes i dun even bother to go on bout my doggie grooming thing.
Well alot of them i hardly know, so i cannot be bothered to explain myself.
I'm 28 going on to 29 very soon.
It's my last chance to make mistakes before i turn 30.
Make seemingly crazy decisions n live the bohemian life i always sort after.
I might take a different course in life. I might regret
Or change my mind.
Who knows?
You know exactly wat's gonna happen in 2010?
Mommy says there's gonna be another recession cos all the countries r in bad debts.
But nobody's told me if 2012 is really gonna happen or not in the first place!?!
So why not now? ;D
Question #2: SO u have found another job?
A: No. (in an indignant tone of voice)
Question #3 Then wat u gonna do!?!??!
A: (controls rolling eyes) Repeat answer in Q#1
Question #4: Where u gonna be??
A: Please see answer to Q#1.
In SG la. more specifically, in the day i will be somewhere in Jalan Kayu.
In the nights I will b in my bed, or my bf's. Duh. -.-
Question#5: Why you wanna quit???
A: *Sighs for dramatic effect* Come March it will be 6 years lei.
If it's my fellow colleagues i will say, "u not sian meh? everyday do the same things, take the same shit. I can't take it anymore. i feel like i wanna punch my pax"
If it's an outsider, (most of whom who feel like cabin crews' lives damn happening n earn alot of moolah n fucking fun to fly here n fly there) I have to explain more.
I'm sick of explaining.
Basically the job is shit.
Though i dun deny that i learnt the most lessons in life the past 6 years.
I had the happiest n the saddest memories.
I was surrounded by pple i love most n pple i dun know at all.
Instead of taking for granted everyday life as it is, I learnt that time is precious.
The first 3.5 years were the best.
Thereafter, my insides r craving for something better, something new. To push myself to be a better person.
I feel it's time to make my other dreams come true.
Since I can't grow up n b a chief anymore! ;)
Question #6 : So you gonna be tai tai lar! Getting married?!
A: Unfortunately, none of the above. Not even close!
Question#7: Then $$ how?
A: Saved enough for being jobless 6 months. Taking into account that I can't live the way I used to when i working la. No more impulse buying, no more going to clubs n ordering lotsa lotsa crazy drinks. Eat at coffee shops n food courts more. But pretty much the past 1 year I have cut down on everything else luxe.
Anyway i think i save more money on my days in SG. No H&M, overseas shopping = Safe.
Therefore, please do not intro me to any online shopping, sample sales, wat branded branded things anymore please. I'm also gonna cut down on reading fashion magazines.
The flesh can only stay strong THIS much..... ;D
Question#8 : That must have been a very brave decision u made.
A: In a way, yeah. I have been battling with the idea for 1 year. I tossed n turned in bed more n more when the timing drew closer.
I look at my bank balance everyday n fret that I dun have enough for my future plans.
I buy a piece of clothing n i beat myself up mentally.
I lost my iPhone n stabbed myself when i had to get an expensive replacement.
I looking for a cheaper place where I can renew n continue my yoga practice.
I no longer wanna sign anything to my credit cards, or debit cards.
I have arguments with bf cos of my own insecurity.
I still have yet to set myself a monthly pocket money budget n how to stick to it, but i imagine my cards might just b frozen into a block of ice Confessions of a Shopaholic style. -____-"
I'm quite stressed just thinking bout the whole financial thing.
BUT! Whatever will be will be. Ommmmmmmmmm~~
Question #9 (mostly from colleagues) : So how to quit ah??
A: Write letter, address to (I will send u the template if u want w adressee address all) n go back to main center, 3rd floor blah blah blah blah blah.
Outsiders probably dun understand why this is daunting to us cos the fact is, nomad workers like us have no office lor.
We dunno who is the head HR guy or who/which department to turn to for little stuff like claims n pay issues cos we r always on the road.
N the office does so many shuffling of staff around that the names behind each department do not have a face also.
All i know is that they were gonna hold my AWS if i tendered earlier, luckily when i tendered on the 4th, it was too late for accountign to hold my 13th month bonus. ALL of $1300 ONLY.
N they will also hold my allowances n pay for the whole month of Jan til i do clearance n only pay me in end Feb. That's being optimistic too.
Question#10: Good luck to you, all the best and the feeling must be damn shiok lar!
Then *groans* i wish i also can quit like you... *sulks n pout*
A: YAR the feeling damn shiok can! I wake up everyday feeling fresh n alive with the new chapter ahead!
N yes, u can make it happen too. Just make the decision, take the time u need to make sure u made the right decision (which is when u feel nothing good bout the job anymore) n take the first step out n DO IT.
Q#10 cont'd : But I cannooootttt. I wanna buy Jimmy Choo shoes on sale! $400 bucks also i just buy! I'm not so crazy bout bags but shoes shoes!! i will buy!! ........(continue chattering bimbotic- like until i wanna slap the bugger)
A: -____- ai', just find a rich bf n marry him la
Q#10 cont'd: Yar i believe that men supposed to support us women in terms of all these one lor, if any of them offer to buy for me i sure take one lar!!
Conversation evolves into one where the useless backboneless typical blood sucking leeches of a woman talk about where to score rich old men for boyfriends, ..... and wat else? More talk on bags n shoes n bags n shoes........ Fuck my life.
Incidentally, i think most men r such suckers that they let themselves be leeched off too, rich or not. R they stupid? Or r these sorta women more smart??
For u to judge.
Of cos not all stewardesses are like that laaaarrr.......
Those like that one of cos NOT my friends. hahahaha~
But so far, i think like 50% of the girls r like that, superficial n bimbotic.
Wonder if that applies to the rest of the women population out there. hmmm.
But that's another topic for another post.
Monday, January 4, 2010
Welcome to the family! - NOT!
Im too lazy to draft out my resignation letter now.
super sleeeeppyyy....
I also just remembered menstruating women not advised to do yoga esp the power type rite?
cos of the many inverted poses?
So.... *yawNNnnnnnn* i will do it in the morning.... ZzzZZz
..................................
On the 2nd n 3rd day of the new year n i've been struggling to reconcile my self esteem n my emotions already.
I really dunno how to explain the situation except to say that it takes 2 hands to clap n my interpersonal skills can only break the ice this far.
It's certainly no fun standing among a group of pple who have no interest in getting to know u better n it's a matter of 10 against 1.
Definitely difficult as well since i realised that I was holding someone back from having full out fun.
The only thought that kept going thru my head was "If u love someone set him/her free."
Which I so dun like cos I just wish we could both play together n be happy.
This totally like.... sucks.
super sleeeeppyyy....
I also just remembered menstruating women not advised to do yoga esp the power type rite?
cos of the many inverted poses?
So.... *yawNNnnnnnn* i will do it in the morning.... ZzzZZz
..................................
On the 2nd n 3rd day of the new year n i've been struggling to reconcile my self esteem n my emotions already.
I really dunno how to explain the situation except to say that it takes 2 hands to clap n my interpersonal skills can only break the ice this far.
It's certainly no fun standing among a group of pple who have no interest in getting to know u better n it's a matter of 10 against 1.
Definitely difficult as well since i realised that I was holding someone back from having full out fun.
The only thought that kept going thru my head was "If u love someone set him/her free."
Which I so dun like cos I just wish we could both play together n be happy.
This totally like.... sucks.
Saturday, January 2, 2010
010110
My hangover lasted a good whole day on the last day of 09.
Ushered in the new year wrapped up in bed nursing a headache n counted down the last few mins with Co over the phone.
It has been a loooooooooonnnnng time since i spoke to a gf on the phone so long lor!
Think last time is secondary 2!!!
That's a good 14 years back!
I guess technology made it too easy for ppl to communicate, wat with facebook, twitter, msn, sms etc.
We tend to communicate while multi tasking, like feeding our Cafeworld, cyber stalking on blogs n facebook... that we dun really concentrate on our conversations?
Haha.
So there we were, 2 homely girls staying in on NYE talking on the phone cos EVERYBODY is out.
But i found peace for once. ;D
I've also decided to semi-quit the clubbing scene.
Just had A MOMENT when i stood amongst the maddening crowd at the smoking area in Zouk after losing my phone. Kinda(actually Very) smashed n had tunnel-like vision n only smattering vague pieces of memory....
Ppl leaving messages for me on facebook n i'm like ...."did i buy her a Kiss of Death too??", finding out bout my night bit by bit like in the movie The Hangover. -_-"
Argh. I'm also still trying very hard to remember who i had THAT conversation with. I hope I vetted wat came outta my mouth.
Not only that, my party khakis have mostly grown outta it it feels like. They were all like yawning n complaining of spinning heads after a few drinks.
And drinking is expensive.....
So there, a semi New Year's resolution.
1st Jan first thing in the morning, I decided to accept the friends' offer n get a new iPhone.
I'm still feeling post purchase dissonance. ;(
Not only for having to outlay more $$ for a stupid phone, but also for inconveniencing my friends n taking up their time also.
Aiyoh! i dunno how to repay that favour A&C!!
Sinking feeling also when Beng called me n told me his dad was in hospital.
my first thought was "shit! not on the first day of the new year!"
And somehow, I'm excited bout this whole baby thing.
Been a long time since i held a newborn in my arms n coo at the wrinkly little new arrival. :)
2010.
Keep being good k?
Ushered in the new year wrapped up in bed nursing a headache n counted down the last few mins with Co over the phone.
It has been a loooooooooonnnnng time since i spoke to a gf on the phone so long lor!
Think last time is secondary 2!!!
That's a good 14 years back!
I guess technology made it too easy for ppl to communicate, wat with facebook, twitter, msn, sms etc.
We tend to communicate while multi tasking, like feeding our Cafeworld, cyber stalking on blogs n facebook... that we dun really concentrate on our conversations?
Haha.
So there we were, 2 homely girls staying in on NYE talking on the phone cos EVERYBODY is out.
But i found peace for once. ;D
I've also decided to semi-quit the clubbing scene.
Just had A MOMENT when i stood amongst the maddening crowd at the smoking area in Zouk after losing my phone. Kinda(actually Very) smashed n had tunnel-like vision n only smattering vague pieces of memory....
Ppl leaving messages for me on facebook n i'm like ...."did i buy her a Kiss of Death too??", finding out bout my night bit by bit like in the movie The Hangover. -_-"
Argh. I'm also still trying very hard to remember who i had THAT conversation with. I hope I vetted wat came outta my mouth.
Not only that, my party khakis have mostly grown outta it it feels like. They were all like yawning n complaining of spinning heads after a few drinks.
And drinking is expensive.....
So there, a semi New Year's resolution.
1st Jan first thing in the morning, I decided to accept the friends' offer n get a new iPhone.
I'm still feeling post purchase dissonance. ;(
Not only for having to outlay more $$ for a stupid phone, but also for inconveniencing my friends n taking up their time also.
Aiyoh! i dunno how to repay that favour A&C!!
Sinking feeling also when Beng called me n told me his dad was in hospital.
my first thought was "shit! not on the first day of the new year!"
And somehow, I'm excited bout this whole baby thing.
Been a long time since i held a newborn in my arms n coo at the wrinkly little new arrival. :)
2010.
Keep being good k?
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Blessed~ ;)
Maybe i did many bad things in my life. scold too much vulgarities etc.
But the one thing i did good is probably to be true to my friends cos Karma blessed me with too sweet friends.
:) Thank you Coco for offering yr mama's phone contract.
Doesn't matter if can get or not.
The offer is sweet enough.
My stupid sister dun even let me use hers..... zzzzzzzz -.-
Oh also to D.C who took care of me last night.
Kan cheong for me also when I told him to help me call my phone.
Sometimes i think I'm not a good enough person to deserve such good friends.
But i must have done something right.
THANK YOU!
But the one thing i did good is probably to be true to my friends cos Karma blessed me with too sweet friends.
:) Thank you Coco for offering yr mama's phone contract.
Doesn't matter if can get or not.
The offer is sweet enough.
My stupid sister dun even let me use hers..... zzzzzzzz -.-
Oh also to D.C who took care of me last night.
Kan cheong for me also when I told him to help me call my phone.
Sometimes i think I'm not a good enough person to deserve such good friends.
But i must have done something right.
THANK YOU!
Reflections: 2009 Wishes 2010
First off, I'd like to say that 2009 is a 破财 year.
Dun even have to go off ranting n raving bout my bad luck n losing stuff n my 20 day old iPhone just yesterday. >.<
Then gotta pay taxes taxes taxes n credit card bills dunno spend on wat nonsense nothing solid jus pay n pay n pay. Unable to save $$ also. It just had to go out n refused to come in.
HEART PAIN!!!
Secondly, 2009 is a wedding year.
Which doesn't make sense cos the ppl who i am closer to RUSHED to get married in 2008 before the lunar year of 09 started cos apparently it's a bad year to wed in even though 09.09.09 sounds like a good date.
Anyway I'm jealous of all the happily wedded. I'm unhappy now so i can say watever I want. Fuck off.
Thirdly., 2009 is a bad year in all of general cos couples broke up.
Lesbian n straight.
Pple's hearts get broken.
Keep hearing horror stories of affairs, broken marriages, blah blah blah.
Careers SUCK big time, with warning letters for some n lousy non $$ generating rosters for me n ppl left jobs for other lousy jobs.
Also i was supposed to be lucky this year but NOOOOooooOOOOO I was NOT.
Fourthly, it's a good year in terms of ppl conceiving n starting families as 3 ladies from my Dome circle had conceived in the 2nd half/3rd quarter of the year. 1 has even given birth.
I jus want to keep a big panting golden furry Golden Retriever.
Is it that hard to have what i want????
Looking at things, (things being the health of my womb, the financial status of my current bf, etc) I think by the time i wanna conceive, I will have trouble also. So Fuck Me.
Fifthly, Sickness: H1N1. Grandfather fell down. Auntie died. My constant gastric flu problem. Raging PMSes. 'Nuff said.
2009 SUCKED BIG TIME.
I hate you.
Ptui*
I sincerely wish that....:
1) Life would be easier n smoother n less so full of angst come 2010.
2) If money dun come in at least dun keep going out can??? I never shop liao. Wat else u want from me!??!?!?! *screams n pulls hair*
3) That I will be pampered n loved n treated like a real lady n then I will be happy n purr ppurr purr like a satisfied happy fat cat everyday.
4) I want to feel like each day is a satisfying day, with that nice warm glow over me instead of fucking black clouds looming over my head all day every year.
5) I dun wan to cry anymore.
6) that the love of my life (anyone, someone???) will propose to me. dun care when getting married. i jus wanna get engaged.
I think engaged is more exciting than getting married. heeeeee~ *practise blushing bride-zilla-like giggles*
7) (lucky number 7??) That Life starts to have meaning for me as I approach 29.
I dunno how to say. but 2009 really rubbed off on me badly n i forgot wat was it like in 2008 but i remembered that i did like it so much better except for the fact that my blog got shut down cos of my employer.
My 老师 says that come 2012 I will have a bad year again. Like in 2007 where I had 2 broken relationships. It's this feng shui cycle but nobody warned me bout 2009. fuck their lives.
So yeah... rambling aside, I jus can't wait to embark on 2010.
come 4 jan i gonna turn in my resignation letter.
Come 4 feb I will have new found freedom. not financially though.
Everything else is inconsequential. I jus wanna be HAPPY.
now............ i really wanna bitch n whine bout losing my 20 day old iPhone last night... ;(
.
.
.
.
.
KARMA ~
tt' s all i can say.
Dun even have to go off ranting n raving bout my bad luck n losing stuff n my 20 day old iPhone just yesterday. >.<
Then gotta pay taxes taxes taxes n credit card bills dunno spend on wat nonsense nothing solid jus pay n pay n pay. Unable to save $$ also. It just had to go out n refused to come in.
HEART PAIN!!!
Secondly, 2009 is a wedding year.
Which doesn't make sense cos the ppl who i am closer to RUSHED to get married in 2008 before the lunar year of 09 started cos apparently it's a bad year to wed in even though 09.09.09 sounds like a good date.
Anyway I'm jealous of all the happily wedded. I'm unhappy now so i can say watever I want. Fuck off.
Thirdly., 2009 is a bad year in all of general cos couples broke up.
Lesbian n straight.
Pple's hearts get broken.
Keep hearing horror stories of affairs, broken marriages, blah blah blah.
Careers SUCK big time, with warning letters for some n lousy non $$ generating rosters for me n ppl left jobs for other lousy jobs.
Also i was supposed to be lucky this year but NOOOOooooOOOOO I was NOT.
Fourthly, it's a good year in terms of ppl conceiving n starting families as 3 ladies from my Dome circle had conceived in the 2nd half/3rd quarter of the year. 1 has even given birth.
I jus want to keep a big panting golden furry Golden Retriever.
Is it that hard to have what i want????
Looking at things, (things being the health of my womb, the financial status of my current bf, etc) I think by the time i wanna conceive, I will have trouble also. So Fuck Me.
Fifthly, Sickness: H1N1. Grandfather fell down. Auntie died. My constant gastric flu problem. Raging PMSes. 'Nuff said.
2009 SUCKED BIG TIME.
I hate you.
Ptui*
I sincerely wish that....:
1) Life would be easier n smoother n less so full of angst come 2010.
2) If money dun come in at least dun keep going out can??? I never shop liao. Wat else u want from me!??!?!?! *screams n pulls hair*
3) That I will be pampered n loved n treated like a real lady n then I will be happy n purr ppurr purr like a satisfied happy fat cat everyday.
4) I want to feel like each day is a satisfying day, with that nice warm glow over me instead of fucking black clouds looming over my head all day every year.
5) I dun wan to cry anymore.
6) that the love of my life (anyone, someone???) will propose to me. dun care when getting married. i jus wanna get engaged.
I think engaged is more exciting than getting married. heeeeee~ *practise blushing bride-zilla-like giggles*
7) (lucky number 7??) That Life starts to have meaning for me as I approach 29.
I dunno how to say. but 2009 really rubbed off on me badly n i forgot wat was it like in 2008 but i remembered that i did like it so much better except for the fact that my blog got shut down cos of my employer.
My 老师 says that come 2012 I will have a bad year again. Like in 2007 where I had 2 broken relationships. It's this feng shui cycle but nobody warned me bout 2009. fuck their lives.
So yeah... rambling aside, I jus can't wait to embark on 2010.
come 4 jan i gonna turn in my resignation letter.
Come 4 feb I will have new found freedom. not financially though.
Everything else is inconsequential. I jus wanna be HAPPY.
now............ i really wanna bitch n whine bout losing my 20 day old iPhone last night... ;(
.
.
.
.
.
KARMA ~
tt' s all i can say.
Monday, December 28, 2009
Boys n the '~~tions'
D.C. : Let you choose one. Love or Money
dodo (without hesitation): Love la!
D.C.: But really no Money one lei. No luxuries! Not even wat u having now!
dodo (swallowed once, then.. ): Still Love la!
I went on to further explain tt as long as my partner 会挣气 and is loving n patient n loyal, i'm sure we will get thru the obstacles together.
We will make the best outta watever we have lor.
Of cos i also thinking hor, that said partner need to be able to express his love to me. Abit of sweet talking n tact n encouragement will go a VERY long way... ..
Well at least to me! ;p
handling expectations, being aware of their expressions, caveman style of interpretation, correct intonation, weaning patience, running outta tolerance, jumping to conclusions, ......
these seem to be the source of troubles when it comes to men trying to understand us women.
Annoying to the max. >;(
He says that Love Does Not Conquer All.
A complete contradiction to what i've believed in my entire life!
But with the arguments that we were having..... i'm actually starting to believe it lor.
Geeez........
Cynicism growing with age. Argh. i hate it!
dodo (without hesitation): Love la!
D.C.: But really no Money one lei. No luxuries! Not even wat u having now!
dodo (swallowed once, then.. ): Still Love la!
I went on to further explain tt as long as my partner 会挣气 and is loving n patient n loyal, i'm sure we will get thru the obstacles together.
We will make the best outta watever we have lor.
Of cos i also thinking hor, that said partner need to be able to express his love to me. Abit of sweet talking n tact n encouragement will go a VERY long way... ..
Well at least to me! ;p
handling expectations, being aware of their expressions, caveman style of interpretation, correct intonation, weaning patience, running outta tolerance, jumping to conclusions, ......
these seem to be the source of troubles when it comes to men trying to understand us women.
Annoying to the max. >;(
He says that Love Does Not Conquer All.
A complete contradiction to what i've believed in my entire life!
But with the arguments that we were having..... i'm actually starting to believe it lor.
Geeez........
Cynicism growing with age. Argh. i hate it!
Saturday, December 26, 2009
New Year's Resolution
It feels like we've had hooked up forever.
Was looking thru some photos n Jul'08 i was still fooling around and rampantly imbibing alcohol like nobody's biz every wed fri n sats.
Hmmm..
Anyway, a recap of the past years' Christmases... as way back as i can remember...
2003:
think i was working at Penny Black.
It was the post SARS period n I had been outta school since Mar i think. n jus quit my job at Kraftig advertising cos they paid me $1500 only n worked me like a slave.
Mega ex bf was back for the holidays but i seriously cannot remember if i spent it with his family.
Fuzzy fuzzy memory but i was quite sure i worked cos i worked on NYE as well tt year!
2004:
my first year flying.
Totally dun remember wat happened Xmas eve!
WTH!
FML.
2005:
Remembered it was post break up with mega ex by the time Xmas came along.
Touched down in London Xmas eve morning n rushed out to Marks & Spencer to buy microwavable food before everything closed by noon til Boxing Day.
Got drunk in the crew room with a bunch of colleagues, non of whom i remember the names nor faces! Meaningless i know!
2006:
Tough year, tough relationship.
Ironically, touched down in London Xmas eve morning a-fuckin-gain n rushed out to M&S to buy microwavable food again before everywhere shuts by noon til Boxing Day. -_-"
Yup, got drunk in one of my superior's room cos it was their team flight n spewed red wine into toilet bowl once i stepped into my room.
Only remember 3 faces n names of those colleagues i spent Xmas eve tt year with. All of whom i've never seen again since.
Called then bf n emo-ed to him hence ending up in a hugeass unnecessary argument which lingered over into Xmas day itself.
Not only that.
My Xmas present tt year from my then dearest? A mouse.
The first wireless mouse called The Mighty Mouse from Apple then.
But WTF!?!? I got a fucking mouse for Xmas from a bf?!??!?!
-__-
2007:
Tougher year than the last, culminating in 2 heartbreaking episodes w fucked up men.
k maybe im the fucked up one.
Had flu n all n took MC cos my heart was pining n i was in pain.
Went to Zouk n mildly flirted with buddy's best friend n pretty much everybody else.
Night ended in tragedy when i spotted freshly broken ex hand in hand with...... his ex b4 me.
Ran away to Shenton Way Partyworld to seek comfort in other friends n ended up crying n super drunk n home at 6 in the morning.
Spent Xmas day itself contemplating suicide.
Like serious!
2008:
Kicked up a fuss when travelling to bf's place by cab in the evening.
Who was i kidding. it was storming n i din have enough cash in my purse n i was bringing the love in my love the best pressie in the world.
Best as in most suited n broke my record as the most expensive thing ever bought for someone else la.
Upset with my pressie but it sure felt good when the receiver teared cos he was touched by my present.
Had dinner at Fish n Co n headed to Zouk for my gf's Hen Night.
Oh. not forgetting i had my wisdom teeth extracted just to take MC for the whole stretch til New Year's too!
Spent the next week being unhappy bout my pressie though i tried very hard to suppress it.
2009:
Spent the whole day in my room in Paris sulking n PMS-ing cos I had sore throat n gastric flu n no one to hold around the arm/waist to take a stroll with me in the wintry streets of Paris.
Picked on bf.
bf explodes.
Suggest break up.
bf accepts.
he goes on to delete our couple album n untag himself off our sweet kishy wishy mushy couple pics. on the same night.
I >EXPLODE<.
Depart Paris on Xmas eve evening (SG time).
At the point in time where u guys were counting down n hugging each other n wishing each other Merry Xmas, n when normal loving couples were snuggled up like in the SATC movie sipping champagne n making out under the mistletoe, Lao Niang is curled up in the uncomfy crew bunk damn shagged out cos still sick.
Needless to say, spent Xmas arguing w bf.
Screaming n shouting til throat hoarse n eyes swollen til X2.
Mom tried to intervene cos the screaming n sobbing could b heard in 4 corners of house she claimed.
Been hiding in room since I got back yesterday morning.
Meals had: 2 sandwiches, 1 bottle of red, n 02 eggs scrambled tt was this morning 0530 hrs or so.
.................................................
So yeah,
at least 5 consecutive years of crappy Xmas eves n Xmas spent.
With 2008 being the most decent.
At least i got pressie.
My New Year's resolution is gonna be this n I'm so gonna omfg regret ever making this.
But I dun wanna celebrate Xmas anymore.
I mean who am i kidding!? it's supposed to be the season of giving but it's always the season of break ups n heartache.
fuck my life.
Ptui* i dun want to celebrate it anymore!!!!!!! *shakes fists n clench teeth n screams*
hehe.
It's like how i stopped making Valentine's Day special in my heart since the mega ex went away to London to school at tender age of 21 for me.
N after that it was always working on V days.
Working at Dome, working onboard...
The only good ones were 2008 when i was actually brought to dinner.
N the other one 2006 i think when i went with my ex teamgal to Stonehenge in London.
Fuck my Life.
And because Xmas n New Year's are always so close to each other, the heartaches spill over all the time n im always called up for some nonsense flights n getting drunk with weird strangers or counting down w no one on the stupid plane with annoying passengers n shit like tt lar.
I think i can safely say tt im eradicating celebration of NYE as well as a special day for me.
I think I'll only resume celebrating them when i have my own family n home n will host beautiful house parties like i always imagine Xmas n NYE should be. Not meaningless drunking n partying.
So yes, that's part of the story of my life.
Geeez, I never realised i've had such crappy Xmases til i really put it down in black n white.
Fuck my Life big time! >:D
p/s i will make resolution to quit smoking n binge drinking when i stop having crappy Xmases!!! bleahG!
Was looking thru some photos n Jul'08 i was still fooling around and rampantly imbibing alcohol like nobody's biz every wed fri n sats.
Hmmm..
Anyway, a recap of the past years' Christmases... as way back as i can remember...
2003:
think i was working at Penny Black.
It was the post SARS period n I had been outta school since Mar i think. n jus quit my job at Kraftig advertising cos they paid me $1500 only n worked me like a slave.
Mega ex bf was back for the holidays but i seriously cannot remember if i spent it with his family.
Fuzzy fuzzy memory but i was quite sure i worked cos i worked on NYE as well tt year!
2004:
my first year flying.
Totally dun remember wat happened Xmas eve!
WTH!
FML.
2005:
Remembered it was post break up with mega ex by the time Xmas came along.
Touched down in London Xmas eve morning n rushed out to Marks & Spencer to buy microwavable food before everything closed by noon til Boxing Day.
Got drunk in the crew room with a bunch of colleagues, non of whom i remember the names nor faces! Meaningless i know!
2006:
Tough year, tough relationship.
Ironically, touched down in London Xmas eve morning a-fuckin-gain n rushed out to M&S to buy microwavable food again before everywhere shuts by noon til Boxing Day. -_-"
Yup, got drunk in one of my superior's room cos it was their team flight n spewed red wine into toilet bowl once i stepped into my room.
Only remember 3 faces n names of those colleagues i spent Xmas eve tt year with. All of whom i've never seen again since.
Called then bf n emo-ed to him hence ending up in a hugeass unnecessary argument which lingered over into Xmas day itself.
Not only that.
My Xmas present tt year from my then dearest? A mouse.
The first wireless mouse called The Mighty Mouse from Apple then.
But WTF!?!? I got a fucking mouse for Xmas from a bf?!??!?!
-__-
2007:
Tougher year than the last, culminating in 2 heartbreaking episodes w fucked up men.
k maybe im the fucked up one.
Had flu n all n took MC cos my heart was pining n i was in pain.
Went to Zouk n mildly flirted with buddy's best friend n pretty much everybody else.
Night ended in tragedy when i spotted freshly broken ex hand in hand with...... his ex b4 me.
Ran away to Shenton Way Partyworld to seek comfort in other friends n ended up crying n super drunk n home at 6 in the morning.
Spent Xmas day itself contemplating suicide.
Like serious!
2008:
Kicked up a fuss when travelling to bf's place by cab in the evening.
Who was i kidding. it was storming n i din have enough cash in my purse n i was bringing the love in my love the best pressie in the world.
Best as in most suited n broke my record as the most expensive thing ever bought for someone else la.
Upset with my pressie but it sure felt good when the receiver teared cos he was touched by my present.
Had dinner at Fish n Co n headed to Zouk for my gf's Hen Night.
Oh. not forgetting i had my wisdom teeth extracted just to take MC for the whole stretch til New Year's too!
Spent the next week being unhappy bout my pressie though i tried very hard to suppress it.
2009:
Spent the whole day in my room in Paris sulking n PMS-ing cos I had sore throat n gastric flu n no one to hold around the arm/waist to take a stroll with me in the wintry streets of Paris.
Picked on bf.
bf explodes.
Suggest break up.
bf accepts.
he goes on to delete our couple album n untag himself off our sweet kishy wishy mushy couple pics. on the same night.
I >EXPLODE<.
Depart Paris on Xmas eve evening (SG time).
At the point in time where u guys were counting down n hugging each other n wishing each other Merry Xmas, n when normal loving couples were snuggled up like in the SATC movie sipping champagne n making out under the mistletoe, Lao Niang is curled up in the uncomfy crew bunk damn shagged out cos still sick.
Needless to say, spent Xmas arguing w bf.
Screaming n shouting til throat hoarse n eyes swollen til X2.
Mom tried to intervene cos the screaming n sobbing could b heard in 4 corners of house she claimed.
Been hiding in room since I got back yesterday morning.
Meals had: 2 sandwiches, 1 bottle of red, n 02 eggs scrambled tt was this morning 0530 hrs or so.
.................................................
So yeah,
at least 5 consecutive years of crappy Xmas eves n Xmas spent.
With 2008 being the most decent.
At least i got pressie.
My New Year's resolution is gonna be this n I'm so gonna omfg regret ever making this.
But I dun wanna celebrate Xmas anymore.
I mean who am i kidding!? it's supposed to be the season of giving but it's always the season of break ups n heartache.
fuck my life.
Ptui* i dun want to celebrate it anymore!!!!!!! *shakes fists n clench teeth n screams*
hehe.
It's like how i stopped making Valentine's Day special in my heart since the mega ex went away to London to school at tender age of 21 for me.
N after that it was always working on V days.
Working at Dome, working onboard...
The only good ones were 2008 when i was actually brought to dinner.
N the other one 2006 i think when i went with my ex teamgal to Stonehenge in London.
Fuck my Life.
And because Xmas n New Year's are always so close to each other, the heartaches spill over all the time n im always called up for some nonsense flights n getting drunk with weird strangers or counting down w no one on the stupid plane with annoying passengers n shit like tt lar.
I think i can safely say tt im eradicating celebration of NYE as well as a special day for me.
I think I'll only resume celebrating them when i have my own family n home n will host beautiful house parties like i always imagine Xmas n NYE should be. Not meaningless drunking n partying.
So yes, that's part of the story of my life.
Geeez, I never realised i've had such crappy Xmases til i really put it down in black n white.
Fuck my Life big time! >:D
p/s i will make resolution to quit smoking n binge drinking when i stop having crappy Xmases!!! bleahG!
Happy Boxing Day!
Geez, what's the point of ultra long weekends when there r no plans...*grouch*
But oh well.
Staying at home saves me lotsa money!
As you all know, I is gonna quit come first week Jan n will serve notice til Feb.
Thereafter, I will be jobless for dunno how long, doing something i dun want to tell u guys.
Hahaha! no lar.
I'm jus sick of repeating myself whenever pple ask me what i'm gonna do after.
Then u see their faces drop after hearing my reply n they look at me like i'm crazy.
So yes, i'm aware of the terrible economic climate out there.
No i do not have any back up plan for my plan.
Oh, yeah, i think i will like shrivel up n die if forced to work in an office environment.
N yeahhhhh.... please dun remind me that i'm already turning 29 in 2 months' time n time is not really on my side for any more frivolity.
SIGH.
I KNOW. OKIE.
But i do also know that i'm looking forward to this big change.
For once then, i will be doing stuff for myself on my own.
Of cos it is more challenging to keep oneself motivated esp when there r no authorities behind for the push factors.
I believe that as the time comes closer, I will ready my mind for all of that crap lar.
N i also believe that once i get on the intended path, the light at the end of the tunnel will guide me along.
A real entrepreneur will need to have a positive mindset! BleahG! ;p
And since we r on tt topic, i'm gonna b buay pai say n ask that u click on tt Nuffnang ad thing each time u come visit my blog.
Well it changes quite often now doesn't it? like every fornight?
Well today it's The Dogs movie trailer or something.
You will contribute dunno wat 1 cent or something with every unique visit or dunno how they count it la. (Obviously u see the plain template of my humble blog u can deduce tt i'm either a very lazy person or highly computer illiterate. Unfortunately it's the latter n here i m shamelessly asking for u to click more often on my very plain blog. argh!~)
Aiyah no virus or wat la. Confirm one. Maybe a cookie or two only. but then again Facebook's full of cookies!!! ;D
I pledge to entertain you with my random musings, daydreams, rantings, words, whatever i can manage. okie? ;)
Cos really, I think too much like ALL the time n I have been shut up for a really long time!
Now i will start to Blah Blah Blah~ again til yr ear drums hurt!
Eeeps time's up, my buttermilk pancakes r ripe in Cafeworld liao!
Laters~
But oh well.
Staying at home saves me lotsa money!
As you all know, I is gonna quit come first week Jan n will serve notice til Feb.
Thereafter, I will be jobless for dunno how long, doing something i dun want to tell u guys.
Hahaha! no lar.
I'm jus sick of repeating myself whenever pple ask me what i'm gonna do after.
Then u see their faces drop after hearing my reply n they look at me like i'm crazy.
So yes, i'm aware of the terrible economic climate out there.
No i do not have any back up plan for my plan.
Oh, yeah, i think i will like shrivel up n die if forced to work in an office environment.
N yeahhhhh.... please dun remind me that i'm already turning 29 in 2 months' time n time is not really on my side for any more frivolity.
SIGH.
I KNOW. OKIE.
But i do also know that i'm looking forward to this big change.
For once then, i will be doing stuff for myself on my own.
Of cos it is more challenging to keep oneself motivated esp when there r no authorities behind for the push factors.
I believe that as the time comes closer, I will ready my mind for all of that crap lar.
N i also believe that once i get on the intended path, the light at the end of the tunnel will guide me along.
A real entrepreneur will need to have a positive mindset! BleahG! ;p
And since we r on tt topic, i'm gonna b buay pai say n ask that u click on tt Nuffnang ad thing each time u come visit my blog.
Well it changes quite often now doesn't it? like every fornight?
Well today it's The Dogs movie trailer or something.
You will contribute dunno wat 1 cent or something with every unique visit or dunno how they count it la. (Obviously u see the plain template of my humble blog u can deduce tt i'm either a very lazy person or highly computer illiterate. Unfortunately it's the latter n here i m shamelessly asking for u to click more often on my very plain blog. argh!~)
Aiyah no virus or wat la. Confirm one. Maybe a cookie or two only. but then again Facebook's full of cookies!!! ;D
I pledge to entertain you with my random musings, daydreams, rantings, words, whatever i can manage. okie? ;)
Cos really, I think too much like ALL the time n I have been shut up for a really long time!
Now i will start to Blah Blah Blah~ again til yr ear drums hurt!
Eeeps time's up, my buttermilk pancakes r ripe in Cafeworld liao!
Laters~
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
I missed the snow, Paris.
When i got in this morning, it was 1 degree Celsius.
Boy it sure feels like -2 though.
Daddy always tells me it's colder n coldest whenever the snow is receding..
Not when it's likely or going to or is snowing.
He calls it 退雪。
Not expecting to come to Paris at this time of the year, or ever for a long long time..
I was pleasantly surprised.
Yet.... with the whole quitting thing looming... not too excited either.
I came down with a killer sore throat.
A consequence of greed as i wolfed down ferrero rochers one after another, while having coffee, tea, Coke. but not enough water.
I slept thru lunch n tea but remembered that the French do late dinners.
So at 9pm I finally woke with renewed strength n walked out to the chains just outside Porte Maillot in search for food.
The warm goat's cheese salad at Leon's was good!
So was the pot of Adreienne style mussels which had slivers of bacon n button mushroom slices in it too.
And the 25cl. lil' jug of sauvignon i had.
Looking outta the window while eating alone at a French restaurant n jus thinking n chewing, i thought about what did the years of service in this company meant to me.....
a random old man walked past while I was licking the ketchup off my fingers n smiled at me thru the window
And i half smiled at him back with something in my mouth like the above pic.
I wondered come 2010 how often will i have time off alone to collect my thoughts like then.
How often will i get to wander strange streets on my own n b awed by the sight of people, buildings, things I'm not used to seeing.
How often will i have time to do the things im so used to doing when in hotel rooms alone outstation.
How often i run thru my head reminding myself to reply to the waitress in the foreign language, whatever little i've come to learn when she comes over to check how m i doing.
Random things....
You know??
Actually, u'll never know.
Being on your own outstation versus being on holiday with other people is such complete difference.
The senses r different. the responses n thoughts that go thru the head are different.
And that is the only thing i love bout my job.
The time i have to myself when im overseas.
And i truly enjoy being alone to enhance these senses too! without the mindless chatter of bimbos n ppl i dunno.
There is so much to love bout it.
But yet so little to give up when i do.
Tis is when i compare it to the many other things that will make me happy when i'm always at home.
I just hope that i've not made a wrong decision. or overlooked some things cos i've had too much of another.
I'm actually scared!!!! bleahg* ;b
Boy it sure feels like -2 though.
Daddy always tells me it's colder n coldest whenever the snow is receding..
Not when it's likely or going to or is snowing.
He calls it 退雪。
Not expecting to come to Paris at this time of the year, or ever for a long long time..
I was pleasantly surprised.
Yet.... with the whole quitting thing looming... not too excited either.
I came down with a killer sore throat.
A consequence of greed as i wolfed down ferrero rochers one after another, while having coffee, tea, Coke. but not enough water.
I slept thru lunch n tea but remembered that the French do late dinners.
So at 9pm I finally woke with renewed strength n walked out to the chains just outside Porte Maillot in search for food.
The warm goat's cheese salad at Leon's was good!
So was the pot of Adreienne style mussels which had slivers of bacon n button mushroom slices in it too.
And the 25cl. lil' jug of sauvignon i had.
Looking outta the window while eating alone at a French restaurant n jus thinking n chewing, i thought about what did the years of service in this company meant to me.....
a random old man walked past while I was licking the ketchup off my fingers n smiled at me thru the window
And i half smiled at him back with something in my mouth like the above pic.
I wondered come 2010 how often will i have time off alone to collect my thoughts like then.
How often will i get to wander strange streets on my own n b awed by the sight of people, buildings, things I'm not used to seeing.
How often will i have time to do the things im so used to doing when in hotel rooms alone outstation.
How often i run thru my head reminding myself to reply to the waitress in the foreign language, whatever little i've come to learn when she comes over to check how m i doing.
Random things....
You know??
Actually, u'll never know.
Being on your own outstation versus being on holiday with other people is such complete difference.
The senses r different. the responses n thoughts that go thru the head are different.
And that is the only thing i love bout my job.
The time i have to myself when im overseas.
And i truly enjoy being alone to enhance these senses too! without the mindless chatter of bimbos n ppl i dunno.
There is so much to love bout it.
But yet so little to give up when i do.
Tis is when i compare it to the many other things that will make me happy when i'm always at home.
I just hope that i've not made a wrong decision. or overlooked some things cos i've had too much of another.
I'm actually scared!!!! bleahg* ;b
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Standby.
They say that happy people dun just sit around n wait for good things to fall into their laps.
I want to go out there n get things done too!!
You know, like groom doggies n earn some freelance money eventually.
But here i am....
Sitting on my bed with my lappie til bed sores form..
Cos i'm on standby again..
From being on MC yesterday.
*grouch*
Im vegetating big time n hoping they won't call me for any flight yet hoping they will disrupt my NRT morrow.
Zzzz major oxymoron.
Well to look on the bright side i better enjoy this while it last.
When im jobless n income-less come Feb 2010, I'll have to be off my ass most of the time looking for alternative sources of $$! ;)
Ahhhhhh soo looking forward to being in control of my own time.
No more running on rosters n schedules n standby like a company-owned whore.
Like seriously! ;p
2010 will be a good year.
I can feel it looming!!! Quick quick time pass faster faster.
I'm not looking forward to celebrating xmas or nye. jus want the year to faster pass!!!
I want to go out there n get things done too!!
You know, like groom doggies n earn some freelance money eventually.
But here i am....
Sitting on my bed with my lappie til bed sores form..
Cos i'm on standby again..
From being on MC yesterday.
*grouch*
Im vegetating big time n hoping they won't call me for any flight yet hoping they will disrupt my NRT morrow.
Zzzz major oxymoron.
Well to look on the bright side i better enjoy this while it last.
When im jobless n income-less come Feb 2010, I'll have to be off my ass most of the time looking for alternative sources of $$! ;)
Ahhhhhh soo looking forward to being in control of my own time.
No more running on rosters n schedules n standby like a company-owned whore.
Like seriously! ;p
2010 will be a good year.
I can feel it looming!!! Quick quick time pass faster faster.
I'm not looking forward to celebrating xmas or nye. jus want the year to faster pass!!!
Monday, December 7, 2009
Going Bananas...
I talked to my imaginary dog again...
Second night in a row.
I seriously think I'm going crazy.
Like madhouse crazy.
Second night in a row.
I seriously think I'm going crazy.
Like madhouse crazy.
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